and so we are free....

greenin' up nicely....

after many more discussions...many more tears (mine and hers)..and a conversation with Angels (excellent advice..thank you Sarah and Jacqui).....we found the source of this sudden interest in school.

{kelly- reading your comment made me smile}

turns out...after having seen all the kids coming  home from school looking so buoyant and joy-filled, she figured she was missing out on a good time.  i gently explained that perhaps they were happy because school was finished for the day....

i let her sit with that awhile.

and then she asked what Sebastian and i  would do when she was at school all day -- i answered, "oh, you know - our usual stuff...." and listed all the things we do, the visits we make, our little adventures....

as she started to cry, i asked her to think of the ways in which she is free...

and she remembered that she's: 

...free to lie in bed and read a whole Junie B.Jones book before getting up in the morning; free to spend two hours on YouTube researching how to play Sims: Medieval; free to check her email umpteen times a day to see if L has sent her a note from Pakistan; free to eat, sleep, play, talk, run, jump, skip, paint, build....whenever and howsoever she chooses.

i didn't sugar coat it....i told her the truth; of how there are some fun things that happen in school, but that fun isn't the point of the exercise. and that the fun stuff that occasionally happens at school, is the stuff we do every day. she hadn't realized that.

{i now have a venomous dislike for the various and assorted ways that 'school' is portrayed on television and in young children's books -- it had been my suspicion that her desire was stemming from a misguided notion of what school is like....seems i was right...grrrrrr}

free-wheelin'

so once our tears were dried, we discussed how she'd like some more "out and about"  {it was a long winter and a very rainy spring} and books she'd like to read and how she's going to save her money to buy the new Sims game now that she has an idea of how to play it {she counted up last night and discovered there was enough -- and so it was ordered}....i showed her Stephanie's blog and how they play a lot of games and maybe she'd like to try that too -- {"oh YES! that looks cool"}

*sigh*

so now i find myself with new appreciation for this life we lead. i'd taken so  much for granted, i suppose -- and to find it all hanging perilously on the verge of upheaval was eye-opening to say the least.

but i'm grateful for the challenge this has been -- emotionally exhausting though it was. it has served to remind me how deeply i value this sweet  freedom we have; and it made me see what a strong and self-possessed child this beautiful girl is growing to be -- and how fiercely i will protect her right to continue on that way -- even when that means the agony of simply trusting her to make good {albeit well-informed} choices.

but it also showed me the scarier side of this right of autonomy -- that they are going to choose to do things we'd much rather they didn't....and i was risking everything i'd ever preached by wanting to take the decision away from her. but how could i not? ugh - it was a wretched conundrum indeed. it wasn't like she was wanting to do a tight-rope walk across Niagara Falls. although i could easily argue an equivalent danger...;)

 in the end though, i realize that this mastering of  the fine art of letting go will be the hardest lesson i'll ever get out of this parenting gig....

so thank you, one-billion-fold, dear friends -- i drew on the love and support you all sent and kept that and your wisdom in my heart as we navigated this part of our journey. i am ever grateful to you all for witnessing this unpleasant bump in our road....

blessings and love to you all....xo

ruminating

thank you, thank you, thank you -- your thoughts and words are a gift to me...

i've been in deep contemplation this last couple of days and i keep going back to my first instinct -- which was to say "no". but i need to know it isn't coming entirely from fear....or a need for control.

*sigh*

i'm reading John Holt {again} -- {i should read him every day} -- and it's helping me recognize the magic that has already happened....i'm unwilling to disrupt the spell.

my biggest fear, though - and Stephanie, you named it -- is that she will lose herSelf.  in my heart i don't think she's strong enough....she's a sensitive soul-- deeply, deeply so -- and let's face it, school is a shark tank. it took her years to overcome what five months of kindergarten did to her. {you're right, Sam - she's 8}

but how to communicate that to her without making her feel a lack -- that i believe there's something wrong with her? i'm painfully aware of how the early messages we hear can inform a lifetime...{an argument against school right there - lol} i also don't want her to think i underestimate her...which perhaps i am.

i still believe that this is coming from a different need -- although i've asked thirty ways to next Tuesday and she insists she wants for nothing. i'll keep digging though....

don't mind me...i'm just thinking out loud...;)

d-evolution

you know, i keep thinking i'm going to stop posting here -- feeling as if i've not a whole lot to share of our days...rambling and feral as they have increasingly become and certainly without a litany of things-we've-done that would be of interest.

but then i stop in for a quick visit and find myself smiling at what i find....and so i come back, especially now - as it represents a place of comfort.

because things are going to change, it seems, as Savannah has expressed a serious interest in going to school.

unfurling...

i know, right?

i'll be honest....i cried. i sat and grieved for a good hour before i could pull myself together enough to join the conversation.

the Green Man waits...

my first, panicked, thought was to say absolutely NO - we don't believe in school. {well, at least i don't - B  can appreciate the philosophy on both sides of the argument} and other parents refuse their children access to things they don't believe in, right? television, candy, religious beliefs...the list goes from the trivial to the deeply personal...

but what kind of life-learning proponent would that make me?

new leaves sprouting...finally

if this is how my child chooses to explore her learning, then i have to respect that and support her and provide her with that outlet. denying her based on my {admittedly biased} beliefs is fundamentally opposed to the whole concept of educational autonomy.

nevertheless, i'm freakin' terrified.

we've had conversations since, about the 'good' and the 'not-so-good'; we've explained how we are not (and never will be) concerned with tests and grades and the other measuring sticks that schools require to monitor the masses -- but we've also made clear that if she chooses this road, then those things will be applied to her. i don't want to demonize school {i don't believe that's fair} but i want her going in there with her eyes wide open.

view from the picnic blanket...art-in-the-park

it's not a done-deal yet - we need to make an appointment with the Principal of the local school -- and i've no idea how they'll take us me. if i sense they aren't receptive to our philosophy - and yes, i realize they aren't required to be - then i may still veto the whole thing. she has come too, too far.....

i'm wracking my brain, trying to find alternatives...wondering if she needs more structure {although she claims not to}. my first instinct was to think i've failed her in some way...that i've not fulfilled her needs sufficiently. so i'm not laying down my sword, just yet...;)

any and all thoughts/suggestion/nuggets of wisdom are welcome....

connections

it came to me when i was scribbling madness onto my morning pages. {which is the Reader's Digest version of how it came about...it was actually a week-long battle with Great Cosmic Forces and my penchant for being a bit slow at times.}

the even shorter version is i've realized this unschooling journey is exactly the same as our journey to art. well, it's mostly my journey to art -- children are born artists -- so says Picasso. and i happen to believe him.

i have learned that in opening ourselves to the creative source....we open ourselves to a place of infinite possibility.

kind of like unschooling

i was tidying up today and i came across a pile of Savannah's GIANT drawings. she creates complex scenes of fantastical creatures on the giant vellum Bristol that i buy for my big paintings.  and then she drops them in a heap in the hallway to be recycled.

occasionally there's one she loves and decides to tape it to her wall. or she'll gift one to one of us. but otherwise, she's done. in the moment, they are her Masterpieces; while she's working on them, they are precious. once they're finished  though, and she's shared the story behind them, she can set them aside and move onto the next thing.

assemblage of found objects {raiding the recycling bin} ~ Savannah

she is completely disengaged from the product*. it's all about the process.

kind of like unschooling 


so yeah, i'm done looking in other places for our extraordinary. it's clearly right here under my nose.

and so the drumming finds a rhythm.....and our haze of paint and poetry isn't such a mad idea after all.


*my next post will illustrate that this isn't always the case...;)

where we are

it's been a week of questions....mine, theirs, ours.

i wonder sometimes, about these chronicles of our goings-on -- how much is too much, where are the lines that we cross or don't....and to say nothing of the agony of doubt. there are days when i look around, slightly bleary-eyed, shaking myself loose from our sandalwood-scented haze of paint and books and dog hair and wonder what the hell i'm doing.

in my heart of hearts i know...i believe...that we are walking the right path. but how that looks from day to day, or where the road is taking us...well, that's where my faith is tested.

i asked Savannah the other day, if she felt like she was missing something...if she wanted more.


"Why? Did someone complain that we weren't learning something?"  


from the mouths of babes.  you can tell that we offer full-disclosure around here. she knows well of the trials of family and the doubting and questioning and disapprovals.  we want her to know, so that we can explain how we see it differently. and she gets it. she's a perceptive kid.

but no, this time i didn't ask in response to an external judgment. this time it came from me.

at last...there is snow

i recognize my biases. i recognize i've leaned heavily toward art and literature in my strewing of their path. i've offered the science -- we have a deep fascination with the world around us...but, again -- my bias is that of Biology -- it's where my partial degree is, and then my vet tech training -- and the art/stories far outweigh in influence. so i worry that they're getting a lopsided view of the world. not that it's a bad view.

Sarah wrote a couple of lovely posts about how she has moved through curriculum-based education to unschooling to something somewhere in between. it gave me much to think about....although i've been thinking about it rather a lot lately.

i'm not a rabid unschooler. i believe strongly in the principles therein...but i also recognize that each family -- each child -- is different. so to paint us all with the same brush, is as inherently foolish as the way the conventional educational system operates.

a modest snow-person....coaxed out of not-packing snow

i suppose what i'm struggling with mostly, is trying to discover what unschooling looks like to us. and even then - how it looks for Savannah is vastly different to how it looks for Sebastian.

so where are we?

Savannah has decided she wants to learn how to tell time....so we dusted off a workbook and are meeting at The Table every morning to explore that. she's also decided she wants to learn Spanish. i'm still working on that one....

we have Arthurian legend on the brain -- and enjoyed a boisterous session of sword-fighting on the Wii at Nanna's on Friday. we've also just started watching this documentary on Netflix - and are marveling at the vast beauty of this country we live in. for me, it's an affirmation (at just the right time) of the extraordinary that exists right under our noses. there's a new hidden object game from Big Fish that the pair of them have been glued to for almost two days.

and of course....there's the art and the pursuit thereof.  big paintings and small paintings, illustrated story 'books', air-drying clay sculpture....it's never-ending.

but is it enough?

i really don't know. it's a blind faith, this road.

mostly we're just bumbling along.

ideas

a really cool snippet from one of the most interesting voices in education reform that i've heard speak in quite some time. while he always seems to stop short of actual solutions....i find he's quietly affirming that we unschooly/life-learny types might actually be onto something...



go figure.

(sorry for any copyright issues with viewing....here's the actual YouTube link..if it helps)

what if....

every day.....

you got to stay at the Art Station.....as long as you wanted.

and you got to play computer games...as long as you wanted....

and recess came whenever you felt too big for the house so you pull on your sneakers and run out without your coat. then you tear around the tree and jump in huge piles of leaves until your nose runs and your cheeks are red and you almost wish you'd remembered your coat...almost.

~*~

what if, when we were growing up, there wasn't someone telling us to move to the next station (even though our painting wasn't done yet and we didn't like the play-house)? how would our lives be different now?

what if, The Experts didn't scare us with the evils of computer games and how they're eroding the minds and souls of our children (even though when given free access and steady guidance, our children are capable of making balanced choices)? could we accept that computers and games have a place?

what if, children were free to run and explore and experience the wild world around them without being hovered over and organized and lectured? would we still think it's irresponsible to let our kids out of arm's reach?

can you imagine what they might learn?

like shape and form and colour; like the vast power of imagination and our innate gifts of creativity; how you can learn physics and architecture without even realizing it by figuring out where to put the dynamite to demolish the computer-generated model; like how you discover the first frost and why it's on some leaves and not others and you might hypothesize why this is so. and without being told, you're right.

they might even learn that a paintbrush has equal value to an algorithm and a poem is just math in a different format.

all that, and more, before 11 am.

~*~

there are times when i despair that *i* don't know enough or have enough knowledge in some area or other to be responsible for the education of these children. that maybe lesson plans aren't such a bad idea; that maybe there should be more of this or that.

and then i remember that these children are amazing, and that as long as it's fed, their natural curiosity will take them so much farther than any preconceived ideas we might have over what *stuff* we think they should know. that to suppose we can know what lies ahead in the wonder of their lives is a mild form of arrogance. they are, after all, only on loan to us...and not ours to create in our own, or anyone else's image.

such is the beauty and the miracle of this life we are leading.

following our feet..

It started off as a trip to the bulk food store -- heavens-to-mergatroid the squirrels are out of peanuts -- plus I needed flour and cinnamon.

We battled through the casualties of the weekend storms....it's more fun to clamber OVER these things, than to walk around them....

Where once a tatty old used car dealership stood, is now this scar on the landscape. Future site of a pain management clinic [prompting the unenlightened to fly into fits over all the crackheads and heroin junkies that would surely be cluttering up the place -- someone may have inadvertently mentioned methadone] Even though the car dealership was grotty and abandoned, there were some lovely old trees to brighten it up . They're not there now. We are not amused. Savannah has issued an ultimatum which involves speedy construction and the planting of many trees and shrubs to replace those torn down.


Halfway to the bulk food store, Savannah decided she was thirsty. Thusly, we carried on to the coffee shop for refreshments and people-watching.

We eventually wandered back to the bulk food store and got in our supplies -- with a few extras, of course.  It was decided after we did our shopping that we would walk past the 'haunted house' on our way home...

Sometimes we're up for the terror, sometimes not.  Debate rages over 'haunted vs. not-haunted', 'abandoned vs. occupied'.  Hard to tell. Although the tree in the front yard is gorgeous. On this, we at least agree.

Musings over a large lollipop -- which, by Savannah's estimation will take approximately one year to finish -- brought us to the conclusion that a side-trip to the park was in order...after all, it's going to rain the rest of the week...

And so we swung and dug in the sand and watched the painting people learn how to use their ladders and made silly faces into the camera...

Such freedom this, in following our feet....

Directing traffic...

A great post by Sunnymama for Conscious Friday.....run, don't walk, your little fingers over there....

Scary School Nightmare

Oh, the places we go....

Savannah announced yesterday that reading is "the most important thing". I tend to agree. Then again, I'm a bit biased as I have an uncontrolled addiction to books. Seriously, an intervention may be required at some point.

So we decided to take a tour of the bookish places in our house...and, it seems, there are many...

Even here... a couple of books squashed between the shelf and printer on our computer desk. No idea why they're there..likely because one of them I was using for an online course and the other two as handy reference guides - the computer desk not being too terribly far from the kitchen...

Then of course there's the one shelf next to the computer....which is stuffed to capacity...overflowing even...

Those 'in-progress'....(I'm on my way out to drink tea and read in the garden when I'm done with this)...

The basket under the TV...it also overfloweth.....

The shelf in *my* space...these volumes are 'in-between shelves' at the moment await the purchase of an additional shelf to complete *my* space (a modest corner of the bedroom for my arting and writing pursuits)

The stack on my side of the bed...reads in-progress and the to-be-read pile...

The shelf in Savannah's room...we divided up the big shelf from the Bat Cave to lessen its load and she claimed some volumes for her own...

The basket beside her bed.....a bit empty-ish now as she's gone off the bedtime story routine...

Ah...the Bat Cave Collection...Sebastian's I Spy books...a perennial favourite

A beloved set borrowed from Cousin K....

The Bat Cave shelf...recently lightened to accomodate another attempt to simplify and organize our obscenely vast toy collection...

Sebastian's box o' books and his favourite reading chair....bucket o' dinosaurs within arms reach should the urge to act out a scene overwhelm him...

Yes, I'd say reading is mighty important....in our little family, anyway...

What we do...

We're back.

A few 'cosmetic' changes...a little something to mark the passage of time.

You will notice a change in the blog title....it was Earthenwitch who coined the phrase, as she described Sunday breakfasts with her little family; a time of unhurried cups of tea, of wandering in the garden, of feeding ducks and reading books. She described it as experiencing life..as it happened, rather than how someone else prescribed it. It struck me that this is how we choose to live our life...well, as much as possible, anyway. Combine those thoughts with the realization that it's been about a year since Savannah left school - yessiree, she's a kindergarten drop-out, some questions raised by a caring friend about what exactly is unschooling and the fact that there have been raised eyebrows and puzzled looks surrounding the idea that this removal from school isn't a temporary thing. It's a done deal. Until such time as either one decides they'd like to return....it's over.

Of course there are questions, worries, concerns, panic - how? why? what about...? Hopefully there can be some answers found in the handy-dandy links on the sidebar. And I hope to further populate my list of other blogs with more wonderful unschooling families and the things they get up to.

But for now, a brief synopsis....a glimpse of our little world and what we get up to....after all - this one's all about the pictures.

First, you should know.....that the world is our classroom - there are no walls, no time limits - only our boundless imaginations and the far reaches of the Universe to hold us in.....lots of room to move, there, wouldn't you agree?

We stop to smell the flowers......and we believe that a 'weed' is just a 'weed' because a person didn't plant it there....

We follow our noses and find treasures in the unlikeliest of places....

... indeed, there is Life amidst the decay

We take a bug box out into the woods to look for caterpillars....and if we don't find any...then we look for other things instead.....

...like wild strawberries and red clover tops - yummy things to eat. See? It's best not to depend too much on a plan...you might miss something.

The seats are very comfy in our classroom....they're all over the place and.....

..there's always one with a good view of the.....

....*board*.

"But how do they learn?"

*sigh* Still don't get it? Okay...

We play with books....we are surrounded by books...all kinds of books....and sometimes, we read them....sometimes we just look at them....and sometimes we build fortresses with them...but they are always there...for when we're ready...

We send and receive postcards from all over the world....we wonder about the people and the places and their beautiful lives...(we refer to the aforementioned books when we desire further details - or not.)

We make paper dolls....just because it's fun and art ROCKS our little world...

And then, when we're tired - we take naps....

Life is a journey and we choose the road less travelled....


Walk with us?