Monday, January 24, 2011

shift work

frost on the window pane
~life up close~

things are moving around here. subtle, but profound shifts that leave you with that "Ooooh, now i get it" feeling.

good stuff. but it means change.

i'm not sure of the future (if any) of this space. i'm struggling with the purpose of what was my original intention and where is it now? i am afraid that it has become a place to justify how we choose to live, rather than simply a chronicle of our days. it's just how it's become to feel whenever i think of posting.

i also want to be mindful of my children; of their journey, of how their future-selves will look back on this.

i feel less moved to document our lives with photos, strictly for the purpose of blogging here. i see how that works so beautifully for some families...and i love to visit with them...but it doesn't seem to capture who we are.

how do i capture the wild wind and the rain, and the fast-beating hearts of my faery children? because these are the things that are the pulse of my family....the feral days of paint and poetry...tomatoes for breakfast, the fire of our disagreements and the vast, vast love of our forgiving.

 i look at the photographs and i know there is so much more to them...especially my beloved Sebastian- who seems to get very little air-time...only because of the elusiveness of his Bright and Shining soul. it is he who has taught me the most - even more than my magical girl - yet the one who i seem unable to share. at least, not yet.

so i'm still around. i'm peeping in your windows and leaving wild honey on your doorsteps.....

....but mostly we're going to follow the wild drum-beat of our souls....into the woods for a while.

blessings and Light to you and yours.....


  1. sooo beautifully written. "the feral days" - that's how I'd like my own family's days to be, following "the wild drumbeat of our souls." Amazing, Mel.

    And I love that picture of the frost. Stunning.

  2. Scrumptious words, truly.

    I look forward to eating up more.

  3. Lots of hugs - I hear you drumming - it comes through the stones. xxx

  4. *hugs* follow your heart and soul. I shall miss this corner though, where you share your your life, let us have a peak in at it's beauty.

  5. You have a beautiful way with words.


  6. Beautiful post Mel, although if you do dissapear for a while, you will be truly missed! I do enjoy reading about your lives and taking the opportunity to share in your wisdom. I hope that whatever changes are afoot they make your lives so much richer. I am feeling changes here too, and looking forward to embracing them. Take care of yourselves, Blessings, Liz

  7. I too appreciate the glimpse into your world ... and I understand the struggles of wanting to respect our children's lives and us holding lens up to things can become a bit of a distraction. Still ... I come here because you celebrate the gift of your days, your life and that fortifies me. This is who we are - curious, celebratory, questioning, opening, revealing in order to understand. Heck, I don't know! I question whether I am leaning too heavily upon my child, but our relationship is such a miracle to me, I want to understand it and celebrate its gifts. It is who I am ... and I also see my daughter shrugging it all off as "that's just my mom" and not being bothered. Yet. (I did refrain from posting a glorious polaroid I took of her, er, um, on the "can" with her leapster, strategically placed and the stripes of her dress contrasting with the white tiles ... i knew if i questioned whether or not to post it, i should not do so!) I am reminded of a painter/friend whose father was a portrait painter and the son a regular model. He said he hated it ... but now he is a portrait painter and an amazing student of the soul! So, what to think?

    My daughter is in public school and I constantly question what we are doing! I think this perpetual questioning is a balance to the generation that never gave a second thought to doing things the way everyone else did them ... but perhaps we swing too far? I mean, we can only do our best and what we believe is right in this moment. There will always be infinite options and we can only choose what our hearts and souls tell us is right and doable for us and our family. I see it as committing to my path. I make the choice, and then embrace the now by fully inhabiting that decision. And sometimes the mistakes we make provide the struggle that strengthens ourselves and our children? I had a horrible time of things as a kid, but I see it now as my karma to work through and birth me into my brighter, truer self. So I am grateful for the challenges.

    Did I babble enough? Are you running full throttle for the woods now? You should!
    xo Lis

  8. Yes, I will miss you terribly and do hope you still blog now and then, photos or no photos. Your words are so dear to me ... I know, selfish of me to say when you have a beautiful family to be with. Many hugs to you ...



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