my blogging history is somewhat dodgy at best...i went from daily diatribes to dwindling off to packing it in altogether. something about feeling *required* to post -- even though that was ludicrously self-imposed -- put me off. add to that, a general world-weariness with the 'mommy-blogger' set and i went off in a huff.
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| a view from my ride to work on Wednesday |
and it didn't help that i'd divided myself into three parts - this unschooly-themed blog, my arty efforts blog and another, more navel-gazing one which no longer exists in the public realm. i suppose the effort (yes, enormous, it was) to keep them all going eroded my enthusiasm.
i have a love-hate thing with blogging. i've come dangerously close to hitting Ye Olde Delete button many a time - existential crisis mostly...or paranoia over who might be reading...or rebellion against all the Other Unschooling Mother's who appear to be doing a better job than i am.
which, of course, is bullshit.
so i've wended my way to something of a disgruntled delight in the act of blogging -- having completely reframed my perspective. it's disgruntled only because i was sure i was done with the whole thing and had just got comfortable with my righteous indignation. i'm sure the disgruntlement will wear off in time.
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| all set to go to The Royal Winter Fair |
so this will become more than 'just' our family unschooling blog.
i am more than the way i parent, and more than the devastating charm of my children -- although they are much to do with the space i occupy now. i'm not entirely sure how or in what ways, it will be more....but i know that i'm bored with posting pictures of what we do during a week....and occasionally frantic that the photographic lack will illustrate that we sometimes accomplish very little. (that can be documented by photos, of course)
i am content in the notion that the very few people who read regularly will perhaps become even fewer. but i am also quite content with the notion that whether or not anyone actually reads, i still have the odd interesting thing to say. that's a pretty huge revelation for me.
it's about fearlessness.
and being fearless has to start somewhere.
Oh wow! Savannah looks sooooooo cool! I love this photo very much!
ReplyDeleteI understand the grand blog divide. I can't maintain all of mine. My new blog is it, I am not convinced any of my others will see a post anytime soon. I am glad to hear your words. I am glad to hear that you are FEARLESSLY standing up as yourself and no one else, because, I for one, adore the person that you are. *hug* Would love to hear more about your synchronicity!
I love your blog - please don't delete! I actually have about 6 blogs lurking around and i used to maintain 2, but, like you found it too hard and frustrating to maintain, so my current one is a melange of all that is me. Just go with the flow and post as your feel the muse - it is another form of your art. xxx
ReplyDeletethank you dear ones....((hugs))
ReplyDelete"... a melange of all that is me" -- I LOVE this, Jacqui -- how perfect. and how utterly common-sensical..(new word)
xo
I actually just ran across your blog today (after reading your comment on ordinarylifemagic). I know how you feel about blogging. I only have one, but I always feel like if I'm not writing down most of what we're doing somehow I'm not doing a great job. Of course, I use it mainly as a memory keepsake of our days are like so I'll be able to relive them again in 20 years. I also do it to document my kids life from 3-21 to show how glorious it can be to lead a interest-led life.
ReplyDeleteI for one will come back to check out your blog often and read some arhives. I appreciate glimpses into other unschoolers lives.
It's an odd business, blogging.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea why anyone reads ours. I thought maybe it was the crafty stuff, but when I moved the crafts to its own dotcom, no one left like I thought they would. (I thought they'd be relieved, "whew! just crafts with not any of her thousands of pictures and pointless stories!!) And then, like you, the energy was spread too thin, and I didna like it.
So I moved everything back. :)
Now my Mama stuff finds its way sneaking into the family blog, stuff I used to keep for "behind the scenes" finds its way into the olm.
Which I figure is appropriate, as it's a part of it, too.
Who knows.
Bring it all in, I say... moods and toys dreams.
It's all a part of it. :)