Life...As It Happens

enquiring minds...

2011-10-06T20:11:00.000-04:00

Savannah asks, "How many of these beets do I need to eat to get the red poo?"

'nuff said.

{huge changes around here...i'll be back when i can summon the energy for the epic catch-up..likely this weekend}

garden wisdom

2011-08-31T19:58:00.000-04:00

we were set upon in great numbers by Japanese beetles this summer....the shiny bastards ate their way through my Virginia Creeper...to my extreme distress and dismay.

it seems the little shites can't really be dealt with in any sort of pleasant and earth-loving way so apart from occasional crushing sprees {yes, the earth-love went right out the window} i couldn't do much about their mission of annihilation.

then because i couldn't bear to look at the skeletal remains of the leaves, i asked my Grandad {he's the master gardener} if it would be okay just to trim the vine back and hope it'd rebound next year. {wherein i shall have beetle traps in place}.

so i trimmed the poor vine back to baldness.

and then whaddya know....

just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,

it became a butterfly.

~unknown

~*~

not that it'd be at all noticeable, but i'm taking a bit of a digital sabbatical for the month of September...time to spend some time unplugged...big shifts afoot requiring a greater measure of Presence...

i will be back, though...of that, i'm certain.

yup, still here

2011-08-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

it seems strange to just wander back in here.

but i'm going to do that, seeing as how i'm at a loss as to how to segue from nothing to something after several months of absence.

i shall just carry on then, shall i?

~*~

almost September...well, if you believe the newspaper flyers pushing school supplies and the Dollar Store with it's Halloween decorations {wtf? seriously, i saw it with my own eyes}.

it's been a stinking hot summer -- but an enjoyable one.

overall, anyway.

charmed, i'm sure

i do feed him, really.

we found ourselves mostly at either the pool, the beach {what passes for such around here} or hiding out in the air-conditioning. thankfully, the well-timed purchase of those two little units of cooling nirvana enabled us to brave the blistering heat more often -- knowing we'd have cool respite on our return.

which was a great improvement over last summer wherein we lay about like great sweaty slugs without the will to move unnecessarily for fear of generating more heat.

so endeth my high-minded notions on the perils of air-conditioning. i'm still not a huge fan of bottled-air -- much preferring the open-windowed approach but i concede to the reality of global warming and peri-menopausal influences.

'nuff said.

so yes.

busy.

Savannah and her beloved Penny -- so happy she can't open her eyes. :)

things have shifted considerably -- inner and outer.

the 'outer' being in the form of rather monumental financial disruptions -- monumental in terms of near-catastrophic at times which has meant a bit of reshuffle and re-prioritizing.

basically -- those priorities being shelter and food.

i'm not kidding.

not a bad thing -- seeing as how simplicity is what we've always aimed for and craved. the Universe provides and all that....

and this is the way of the off-the-trail, dream-following folk that we are. these are just the deeper, fiscal lessons that come with such wacky notions, yes?

inner-wise...a shift in focus as well. gradually moving toward a more unplugged existence. i treasure the great value in this interwebby world, but i find myself happier these days with only brief sojourns in the ether before slipping back to the pen-to-paper, face-to-the-wild-wind approaches of connection.

an effort toward conversation over monologue, y'know?

i must confess to massive influence by certain books -- prompted by certain podcasts. {omg - if you have a minute to spare go and peruse the rest of the juicy {FREE} library over here.}

and then the children. growing and changing before my eyes -- joy-full and sad all at the same time. i catch myself staring at them sometimes, marveling at their brilliance and Beauty....and getting mildly panicked that it all seems to be moving too fast.

and then there are the days when i'm tearing my hair out and wanting to throttle them.

such is the magic...:D

so we're back in this space. it was a long time sorting out what it might become -- it can't be about an inventory of our days -- they are too much the same and too much wildly different to try and chronicle as such. and for other reasons...more bound up in sovereignty and what is truly mine to share.

so it might look a tiny bit different -- or maybe not at all.

i have a thought to bringing making this the place to pile the moon-stones as well....a thought that this is the place to find those moments of Presence and acknowledgement of Beauty.

which is, after all, the point of everything.

~*~

{i tried to upload more photos -- but Blogger is being tiresome -- so i'll catch up in the next while}

small stones - blogsplash

2011-06-01T05:34:00.001-04:00

a little project i'm taking part in.....;)

~*~

Kaspa & Fiona have taken over my blog for today, because they
need our help.

They are both on a mission to help the world connect with the world
through writing. They are also getting married on Saturday the 18th of
June.

For their fantasy wedding present, they are asking people across the
world to write them a ‘small stone’ and post it on their blogs or on
Facebook or Twitter.

A small stone is a short piece of observational writing – simply pay
attention to something properly and then write it down. Find out more
about small stones here.

If you’re willing to help, we’d love you to do things:

1) Re-post this blog on your own blog any time before June the 18th and
give your readers a chance to hear about what we’re doing. You can
simply copy and paste the text, or you can find the html
here.

2) Write us a small stone on our wedding day whilst we’re saying our
vows and eating cake, post it on your blog, and send
it to us.

You can find out more about our project at our website, Wedding Small
Stones, and you can also read our blog at A River of Stones.

We also have a July challenge coming soon, when we’ll be challenging
you to notice one thing every day during July and write it down.

Thank you for listening, and we hope we’ll be returning from our
honeymoon to an inbox crammed with small stones, including yours.

Kaspa & Fiona

~*~

although i fell out of the habit {what? who? me?} -- i started writing my own small stones here -- as part of the January challenge and plan to take part in July's. it's a lovely, simple exercise in mindfulness -- something i perpetually struggle with...;)

and so it goes...

2011-05-31T10:10:00.000-04:00

because there's always time for silly

summerish days are upon us....although i think we're all a little leery to relax into it, seeing as how we've had a few false starts this spring...

it's like The School Thing never happened...but of course it did...and we're grateful, because it's made us all - especially Savannah -- see the joy in our days with fresh eyes.

a bit of gardening was done this past weekend....and to my {possibly ridiculous level of} JOY -- our worm compost is finally ready!! *squeeeeeeee*

thank you worms....:)

we are pleased....

i realize this is one of the few places i could post pictures of compost and know there are several people grinning as widely as i was when i opened up the lid of our bin.

our adventures in vermiculture started way back here -- and then after the loss of our worms over the winter, and our decision last year to not replace them but experiment in break-all-the-rules composting...we are now reaping the benefits. patience, as they say, is a virtue.

{is it strange that feeding our plants this yummy mixture gave me that same satisfying feeling as when i see my kids tucking into a good meal?}

ahem, moving on.

added to our list of JOY this past week has been a dose of parcel JOY from the beautiful Rose. having heard that Savannah wanted to learn Spanish, she sent along a few things she just happened to have lying around...;)

oh, how we *HEART* those picture-puzzle-find-it books!!! {and i LURVE tea}

missing from the pile is the spanish vocabulary sticker book that Savannah was reading at the time of the picture -- we amused ourselves greatly with our poor pronunciation for a good hour last evening and that led to a sojourn down memory lane for B and I and plans to research the provided links for correct pronunciation. i just love this organic process of Learning Stuff.

i'm in my own personal heaven with the packet of tea {sipping some chamomile/vanilla as i type} and the arty bits that never fail to delight. the giant puzzle book and the snap game are going into our backpacks for our camping trip at the end of June. hopefully, the mancala game i ordered will have escaped the perils of the impending postal strike and will go with us as well. {fingers crossed}

in other news, we rescued a baby chipmunk from The Bloody Cat....long tale of high drama and late evening scramble for chippy-rescue supplies and a trip to the Cat Hospital {i KNOW, the irony, right?} where Napoleon* is, i'm relieved to say, convalescing satisfactorily. {fingers crossed}

so yes, it's all good.

*so named because he is rather small, but evidently quite mighty. ;)

soul of sunday...slightly tardy

2011-05-23T06:54:00.001-04:00

because we can...

;)

joining in over at Ordinary Life Magic....

and so we are free....

2011-05-22T08:12:00.001-04:00

greenin' up nicely....

after many more discussions...many more tears (mine and hers)..and a conversation with Angels (excellent advice..thank you Sarah and Jacqui).....we found the source of this sudden interest in school.

{kelly- reading your comment made me smile}

turns out...after having seen all the kids coming home from school looking so buoyant and joy-filled, she figured she was missing out on a good time. i gently explained that perhaps they were happy because school was finished for the day....

i let her sit with that awhile.

and then she asked what Sebastian and i would do when she was at school all day -- i answered, "oh, you know - our usual stuff...." and listed all the things we do, the visits we make, our little adventures....

as she started to cry, i asked her to think of the ways in which she is free...

and she remembered that she's:

...free to lie in bed and read a whole Junie B.Jones book before getting up in the morning; free to spend two hours on YouTube researching how to play Sims: Medieval; free to check her email umpteen times a day to see if L has sent her a note from Pakistan; free to eat, sleep, play, talk, run, jump, skip, paint, build....whenever and howsoever she chooses.

i didn't sugar coat it....i told her the truth; of how there are some fun things that happen in school, but that fun isn't the point of the exercise. and that the fun stuff that occasionally happens at school, is the stuff we do every day. she hadn't realized that.

{i now have a venomous dislike for the various and assorted ways that 'school' is portrayed on television and in young children's books -- it had been my suspicion that her desire was stemming from a misguided notion of what school is like....seems i was right...grrrrrr}

free-wheelin'

so once our tears were dried, we discussed how she'd like some more "out and about" {it was a long winter and a very rainy spring} and books she'd like to read and how she's going to save her money to buy the new Sims game now that she has an idea of how to play it {she counted up last night and discovered there was enough -- and so it was ordered}....i showed her Stephanie's blog and how they play a lot of games and maybe she'd like to try that too -- {"oh YES! that looks cool"}

*sigh*

so now i find myself with new appreciation for this life we lead. i'd taken so much for granted, i suppose -- and to find it all hanging perilously on the verge of upheaval was eye-opening to say the least.

but i'm grateful for the challenge this has been -- emotionally exhausting though it was. it has served to remind me how deeply i value this sweet freedom we have; and it made me see what a strong and self-possessed child this beautiful girl is growing to be -- and how fiercely i will protect her right to continue on that way -- even when that means the agony of simply trusting her to make good {albeit well-informed} choices.

but it also showed me the scarier side of this right of autonomy -- that they are going to choose to do things we'd much rather they didn't....and i was risking everything i'd ever preached by wanting to take the decision away from her. but how could i not? ugh - it was a wretched conundrum indeed. it wasn't like she was wanting to do a tight-rope walk across Niagara Falls. although i could easily argue an equivalent danger...;)

in the end though, i realize that this mastering of the fine art of letting go will be the hardest lesson i'll ever get out of this parenting gig....

so thank you, one-billion-fold, dear friends -- i drew on the love and support you all sent and kept that and your wisdom in my heart as we navigated this part of our journey. i am ever grateful to you all for witnessing this unpleasant bump in our road....

blessings and love to you all....xo

ruminating

2011-05-17T09:38:00.000-04:00

thank you, thank you, thank you -- your thoughts and words are a gift to me...

i've been in deep contemplation this last couple of days and i keep going back to my first instinct -- which was to say "no". but i need to know it isn't coming entirely from fear....or a need for control.

*sigh*

i'm reading John Holt {again} -- {i should read him every day} -- and it's helping me recognize the magic that has already happened....i'm unwilling to disrupt the spell.

my biggest fear, though - and Stephanie, you named it -- is that she will lose herSelf. in my heart i don't think she's strong enough....she's a sensitive soul-- deeply, deeply so -- and let's face it, school is a shark tank. it took her years to overcome what five months of kindergarten did to her. {you're right, Sam - she's 8}

but how to communicate that to her without making her feel a lack -- that i believe there's something wrong with her? i'm painfully aware of how the early messages we hear can inform a lifetime...{an argument against school right there - lol} i also don't want her to think i underestimate her...which perhaps i am.

i still believe that this is coming from a different need -- although i've asked thirty ways to next Tuesday and she insists she wants for nothing. i'll keep digging though....

don't mind me...i'm just thinking out loud...;)

d-evolution

2011-05-16T09:59:00.000-04:00

you know, i keep thinking i'm going to stop posting here -- feeling as if i've not a whole lot to share of our days...rambling and feral as they have increasingly become and certainly without a litany of things-we've-done that would be of interest.

but then i stop in for a quick visit and find myself smiling at what i find....and so i come back, especially now - as it represents a place of comfort.

because things are going to change, it seems, as Savannah has expressed a serious interest in going to school.

unfurling...

i know, right?

i'll be honest....i cried. i sat and grieved for a good hour before i could pull myself together enough to join the conversation.

the Green Man waits...

my first, panicked, thought was to say absolutely NO - we don't believe in school. {well, at least i don't - B can appreciate the philosophy on both sides of the argument} and other parents refuse their children access to things they don't believe in, right? television, candy, religious beliefs...the list goes from the trivial to the deeply personal...

but what kind of life-learning proponent would that make me?

new leaves sprouting...finally

if this is how my child chooses to explore her learning, then i have to respect that and support her and provide her with that outlet. denying her based on my {admittedly biased} beliefs is fundamentally opposed to the whole concept of educational autonomy.

nevertheless, i'm freakin' terrified.

we've had conversations since, about the 'good' and the 'not-so-good'; we've explained how we are not (and never will be) concerned with tests and grades and the other measuring sticks that schools require to monitor the masses -- but we've also made clear that if she chooses this road, then those things will be applied to her. i don't want to demonize school {i don't believe that's fair} but i want her going in there with her eyes wide open.

view from the picnic blanket...art-in-the-park

it's not a done-deal yet - we need to make an appointment with the Principal of the local school -- and i've no idea how they'll take us me. if i sense they aren't receptive to our philosophy - and yes, i realize they aren't required to be - then i may still veto the whole thing. she has come too, too far.....

i'm wracking my brain, trying to find alternatives...wondering if she needs more structure {although she claims not to}. my first instinct was to think i've failed her in some way...that i've not fulfilled her needs sufficiently. so i'm not laying down my sword, just yet...;)

any and all thoughts/suggestion/nuggets of wisdom are welcome....

the gift of days

2011-04-10T20:53:00.003-04:00

...days all to ourselves.

to run
climb
ride...on a new-to-her bike with squeezy brakes not back-pedal brakes which is terrifying and careen-ish

to read...an entire afternoon for me, my tea and a whole world made of ink and imagination
to set a goal and pursue it and then
excel.....a fifth-place ribbon at Pony Club Quiz -- of course, not the reason why - but so full of affirming goodness that one feels brave enough to try her D-test this spring.

to converse....about winning and losing and how mistakes are a great way to learn something

we're still here...

2011-03-21T08:30:00.000-04:00

doing what we do best. which is to say....everything. ;)

finding grace in ancient trees...

and, of course, the joy...

it's been rainy days and robin-spotting; decluttering and sparklification; library trips and first-picnics; family, friends and sweet, blessed silence.

and gratitude for this life.

always.

"beloved"

Spring blessings to you and yours...

love and gratitude

2011-02-26T19:51:00.000-05:00

ever had one of those weeks when you're not sure if you're coming or going?

we've had one a bit like that.

our car was broken into and vandalized {along with 10 or 12 others in the same parking lot}...we ended up needing a new steering column {$300+ later}...*sigh*. i can never get my head around why people do such things. we were quite fortunate in that we don't keep anything of value in the car....some other folk lost GPS units and CD's and tools and whatnot.

temperaments are clashing. i think the winter has outstayed it's welcome and we'd all be much happier if we could get out and play thankyouverymuch....it's been a challenge to say the least but we're navigating our way with lots of talking and venting and bouncing on trampolines.

but, in the way of balancing and harmony...

there have been homemade pancakes..

{teeny pancakes made especially for our house-brownie...left on the doorstep of the faery-house}

and MadLibs and MathBlasters and researching hauntings and the price of a pony...;)

and {of course} paint and poetry and some music tossed in for ambience

and decluttering and rearranging and sparklification {to borrow a phrase from Stephanie}....getting a head-start on spring cleaning, y'know?

a gift of art for me...{swoon}...it's currently perched on my newly-rearranged art-table so i can catch a glimpse of it from almost every angle of our main living space...

*sigh*

a gift of inspiration for Savannah....{same beautiful culprit...we are so, SO blessed to have him in our life}

{and a little card reminding her that she holds the key to all of her heart's dreams}

and then....just when we thought we were so full of joy and gratitude we might explode...another..YES, another parcel arrived on Friday...

Savannah and Cowgirl are regular mail-art exchangers...as are Lis and I...but this...WOW...we were so blown away by this!! You can read about the magic of these fairy bundles here -- they are all safely resting in our own 'power places'....little sacred nooks we've all carved out for ourselves. also included were traditional red envelopes celebrating Chinese New Year {Cowgirl's birthplace}...complete with organic lollipops which were slurped up in enthusiastic fashion. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU...Lis and Cowgirl...

so yeah....we're feeling mighty loved.

and thankful...did i mention that?

oh. we are indeed.

the week

2011-02-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

it's been an odd week....a lot of 'heaviness' in the air. there've been more than the usual number of spats and aggravations in our little abode. i think cabin-fever has reached it's peak and we're all quite ready for spring.

i woke up this morning thinking i wanted to open the windows. which i did, ever so briefly...but, oh - what a difference! it gives one hope. :)

~
most mornings of late i'm woken by the tip-tapping of doggie feet around the bedroom -- our ancient boy Tyler can't quite hold his bladder like he did in his younger days and nature's call is coming ever earlier. apparently i wasn't quick enough out of bed today and i followed him to Sebastian's room where i caught him lifting his leg against the table (Tyler, that is). i'm not sure he even realized what he was doing. thus it is to be an old dog.

~
i'm reading Lord of the Rings -- first time, although i've had the book for years. (GASP! i know, right? where have i been?). i haven't got far - i'm exhausted by bedtime these days -- but i've found the foreword to be of great interest and have enjoyed a quiet giggle at the way Mr.Tolkein views his critics. this also stood out {on the topic of suggested motive and meaning of his story} ...

"The prime motive was the desire of the tale-teller to try his hand at a really long story that would hold the attention of readers, amuse them, delight them, and at times maybe excite them or deeply move them. As a guide I had only my own feelings for what is appealing or moving, and for many the guide was inevitably at fault."

this actually brought tears to my eyes....because i think it's a lovely way to look at life in general; that if we act from a desire to amuse and delight, to share and encourage then we are approaching our lives with a beautiful purpose. inevitably, someone is gonna dump all over it, but that needn't be our concern. i think that's the part i struggle with most....the surrendering of perspective.

~

and there was art commissioned for the downstairs-bathroom wall. i'm on a mission of un-beige -- i don't fancy painting the walls from their delightful shade of industrial beige (far too much upheaval involved there)...i much prefer the splashes of colour a smattering of fabulous art can provide.

from the Creature Feature series...by Savannah

B was away on biz-ness on Friday and Saturday so there were bonus trips to Nanna and Grandad's and the baking of brownies and procurement of ice-cream for a movie night. we watched Skellig the Owl Man....absolutely wonderful.

and in amongst all that....we just carry on as we are.

truth

2011-02-07T12:36:00.000-05:00

There are three stages to Truth

1. Ridicule

2. Violent Opposition

3. Acceptance

{...we'll wait 'til you catch up}

...and for those of you already here...for your love and support -- both here and privately, through email....

rock on, sweet friends...

sebastian

2011-02-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

i knew the moment he was conceived and a short while later, he told me his name.

i asked him not to come until he was ready -- the trauma of his sister's early arrival still hanging over my heart -- and he ventured forth on exactly his due date.

i wrote him a letter a few days after he was born, as i'd done for his sister before him, and in it i named him my 'child of peace'.

as an infant, where his sister had screamed bloody murder for the first five months and torn my soul into tatters, he smiled a lot and loved to be cuddled.

he was exactly what i needed to heal my heart; to show me that perhaps i wasn't such a failure after all.

when he turned a year, he didn't delight in the party we gave him the way most yearlings do -- basking in the adoration of his family and friends who all waited expectantly for that Kodak moment of cake-smearing and a first taste of ice-cream.

instead he screamed until i swooped him away to a quiet place -- just he and i and the silence.

after that, any attempt at going out was near impossible. at the grocery store he'd scream if anyone looked at him...when he got bigger and was walking, he'd lie down in the aisle and cry until i picked him up and took him out.

eventually, we rearranged things so he wouldn't have to go out in public.

naturally, everyone thought there was something *wrong* with him.

"he must be autistic, you should have him tested"

i ignored them, but secretly researched autism in the dark of the night when everyone slept. in the depths of my mama's heart - that place where you really Know - i knew there was nothing wrong with this magical boy who loved so fiercely and whose eyes crackled with sparks of joy every time he smiled.

when he was 19 months old and not talking i did have him assessed -- only to be sure there was no physical reason for him not doing the usual babbling and chattering. all that was fine, but the speech pathologist insisted he needed 'intervention' and put him on a waiting list. they finally called when he was three but we had never needed it. she told me how to direct his play and encourage him to make noises with his trains and animals. i knew that would never fly, he was always very intense -- yes, he lined them up in fine autist fashion -- obsessing over making sure they were just-so -- there was no way he'd allow me to join in uninvited and i certainly couldn't be the one driving the bus! so i nodded and smiled and thanked her...and took my perfect child home. we never had trouble communicating...if he wanted a sandwich, he'd bring us a loaf of bread and the jar of peanut butter. we learned how to communicate without speech.

from about 10 months of age onwards, his sleep patterns were governed by the phases of the moon. he is restless and wakeful prior to both the New and the Full....it's easier now because he's old enough to entertain himself while one of us dozes -- he falls asleep when he's ready. trying to regiment that has never been successful -- forcing an early 'bedtime' means he's awake at 3am and raring to go. eventually, he taught us to honour his cycle.

he's 6 now. he's not a typical 6 year old boy and going places and doing certain things still involves a degree of challenge. he doesn't always transition well and immerses himself deeply and intensely in activities -- he sucks the marrow dry before he moves onto the next thing -- apparently 6 year old boys aren't supposed to to that -- so typical 'groups' and activities don't fit our style. we can't take part in structured activities -- but really, who's to say that's the only way, anyway? he opened the door to unschooling -- and we gladly walked through it.

i still find myself at odds with Common Belief -- that he should have had speech therapy; that he should be forced to do this, that and the other; that he should be expected to behave in a certain way in certain situations. and in the moments that i wonder if maybe everyone else is right and i'm the one who's wrong -- for stubbornly defending this child's right to be his own person -- i remember everything he's taught me; i remember how he has challenged everything i thought i knew about parenting and the world; how i've had to stretch further and harder to meet his needs -- all of which he has the Divine right to have taken care of....by the simple truth that he Is. and when i remember these things i remember that he's perfect.

every child is born Perfect

it is not our job as parents and adults to mold these children into our own ideal of what they should be. if you look around -- even in the so-called Positive Parenting movement, the subtle signs of manipulation are there. well-meaning, i've no doubt -- but designed to funnel development along a prescribed route. most of us may have unknowingly done that -- i was doing it with Savannah until her brother showed me that it could be different.

that it could be so much different. and that we'd be all the better for his gifts.

i have a hard time, still, sharing my boy-child -- he defies definition...describing a day with him would be beyond difficult. but i've realized recently, that my decision not to share him is based in fear. i feel tremendously protective of him...and fiercely defend him and his right to be himself....and i'm afraid -- afraid that he will be judged, that he will be seen as somehow Less....simply because he drums his own rhythm.

and sometimes i'm afraid that i've got it all wrong and that i've failed him in my own stubbornness and blind love.

and so, again, it comes down to a matter of faith. and trust. and the ferocious love i have for my boy -- and a belief that, as he has always done, he will show me the way and somehow, some way, i will simply Know.

and this....i first saw via the lovely Stephanie...and it made me cry -- sweet happy tears -- and now you know why...

sometimes...

2011-02-03T20:02:00.002-05:00

there is painting and stories by candlelight....

connections

2011-01-31T19:30:00.000-05:00

it came to me when i was scribbling madness onto my morning pages. {which is the Reader's Digest version of how it came about...it was actually a week-long battle with Great Cosmic Forces and my penchant for being a bit slow at times.}

the even shorter version is i've realized this unschooling journey is exactly the same as our journey to art. well, it's mostly my journey to art -- children are born artists -- so says Picasso. and i happen to believe him.

i have learned that in opening ourselves to the creative source....we open ourselves to a place of infinite possibility.

kind of like unschooling

i was tidying up today and i came across a pile of Savannah's GIANT drawings. she creates complex scenes of fantastical creatures on the giant vellum Bristol that i buy for my big paintings. and then she drops them in a heap in the hallway to be recycled.

occasionally there's one she loves and decides to tape it to her wall. or she'll gift one to one of us. but otherwise, she's done. in the moment, they are her Masterpieces; while she's working on them, they are precious. once they're finished though, and she's shared the story behind them, she can set them aside and move onto the next thing.

assemblage of found objects {raiding the recycling bin} ~ Savannah

she is completely disengaged from the product*. it's all about the process.

kind of like unschooling

so yeah, i'm done looking in other places for our extraordinary. it's clearly right here under my nose.

and so the drumming finds a rhythm.....and our haze of paint and poetry isn't such a mad idea after all.

*my next post will illustrate that this isn't always the case...;)

shift work

2011-01-24T12:21:00.001-05:00

frost on the window pane
~life up close~

things are moving around here. subtle, but profound shifts that leave you with that "Ooooh, now i get it" feeling.

good stuff. but it means change.

i'm not sure of the future (if any) of this space. i'm struggling with the purpose of it...ie. what was my original intention and where is it now? i am afraid that it has become a place to justify how we choose to live, rather than simply a chronicle of our days. it's just how it's become to feel whenever i think of posting.

i also want to be mindful of my children; of their journey, of how their future-selves will look back on this.

i feel less moved to document our lives with photos, strictly for the purpose of blogging here. i see how that works so beautifully for some families...and i love to visit with them...but it doesn't seem to capture who we are.

how do i capture the wild wind and the rain, and the fast-beating hearts of my faery children? because these are the things that are the pulse of my family....the feral days of paint and poetry...tomatoes for breakfast, the fire of our disagreements and the vast, vast love of our forgiving.

i look at the photographs and i know there is so much more to them...especially my beloved Sebastian- who seems to get very little air-time...only because of the elusiveness of his Bright and Shining soul. it is he who has taught me the most - even more than my magical girl - yet the one who i seem unable to share. at least, not yet.

so i'm still around. i'm peeping in your windows and leaving wild honey on your doorsteps.....

....but mostly we're going to follow the wild drum-beat of our souls....into the woods for a while.

blessings and Light to you and yours.....

where we are

2011-01-16T20:44:00.000-05:00

it's been a week of questions....mine, theirs, ours.

i wonder sometimes, about these chronicles of our goings-on -- how much is too much, where are the lines that we cross or don't....and to say nothing of the agony of doubt. there are days when i look around, slightly bleary-eyed, shaking myself loose from our sandalwood-scented haze of paint and books and dog hair and wonder what the hell i'm doing.

in my heart of hearts i know...i believe...that we are walking the right path. but how that looks from day to day, or where the road is taking us...well, that's where my faith is tested.

i asked Savannah the other day, if she felt like she was missing something...if she wanted more.

"Why? Did someone complain that we weren't learning something?"

from the mouths of babes. you can tell that we offer full-disclosure around here. she knows well of the trials of family and the doubting and questioning and disapprovals. we want her to know, so that we can explain how we see it differently. and she gets it. she's a perceptive kid.

but no, this time i didn't ask in response to an external judgment. this time it came from me.

at last...there is snow

i recognize my biases. i recognize i've leaned heavily toward art and literature in my strewing of their path. i've offered the science -- we have a deep fascination with the world around us...but, again -- my bias is that of Biology -- it's where my partial degree is, and then my vet tech training -- and the art/stories far outweigh in influence. so i worry that they're getting a lopsided view of the world. not that it's a bad view.

Sarah wrote a couple of lovely posts about how she has moved through curriculum-based education to unschooling to something somewhere in between. it gave me much to think about....although i've been thinking about it rather a lot lately.

i'm not a rabid unschooler. i believe strongly in the principles therein...but i also recognize that each family -- each child -- is different. so to paint us all with the same brush, is as inherently foolish as the way the conventional educational system operates.

a modest snow-person....coaxed out of not-packing snow

i suppose what i'm struggling with mostly, is trying to discover what unschooling looks like to us. and even then - how it looks for Savannah is vastly different to how it looks for Sebastian.

so where are we?

Savannah has decided she wants to learn how to tell time....so we dusted off a workbook and are meeting at The Table every morning to explore that. she's also decided she wants to learn Spanish. i'm still working on that one....

we have Arthurian legend on the brain -- and enjoyed a boisterous session of sword-fighting on the Wii at Nanna's on Friday. we've also just started watching this documentary on Netflix - and are marveling at the vast beauty of this country we live in. for me, it's an affirmation (at just the right time) of the extraordinary that exists right under our noses. there's a new hidden object game from Big Fish that the pair of them have been glued to for almost two days.

and of course....there's the art and the pursuit thereof. big paintings and small paintings, illustrated story 'books', air-drying clay sculpture....it's never-ending.

but is it enough?

i really don't know. it's a blind faith, this road.

mostly we're just bumbling along.

painting and piercing

2011-01-11T14:14:00.000-05:00

it would seem that arting is mostly what we do these days...painting, art journals, sketching...forever we are on the hunt for the next thing to draw/paint/glue/imagine.

and because i'm taking up the 'big painting' wall-space.....she paints on the floor.

and then there was yesterday....we had a consultation with Ty the Piercing Guy (not actually what he calls himself, it rhymes so i felt i had to use it) -- he and his partner have the tattoo and piercing shop next door to my work....so all of our piercing and tattooing needs are taken care of by them -- such as those needs are. :)

Ty is a funny little man...lots of piercings (naturally), some body-modifications of the pointy-eared variety and a plethora of ink. he's also Very Serious about what he does. his standards of cleanliness would leave most hospitals wanting. we're talking aseptic. (and i happen to know about these things). i covet his autoclave. so of course i would trust my baby girls' ear lobes to him without a second thought.

BUT...she had to go through a bit of an 'interview' first. he's not in the habit of piercing minors. but since we're neighbours and all....

naturally (because we've been talking about it since she decided she wanted it done, way back in November), she passed muster. dazzling him, even, with her understanding of the process and the responsibilities therein ;)

she's quite pleased with herself and is diligent about the rather stringent cleansing guidelines Ty wrote out for her.

{inspired by Rabbit}

(can you see the hint of a sparkle in her ears?)

it was strange, actually...watching her chat, quite unconcerned she was, by Ty's rather striking appearance - surgical mask and all. thinking "wow...this is my daughter"...it took me back to the first time, way back, 8 years ago when she was born, and the first time i ever said those words -- 'my daughter' - and the weight of what that actually meant settled into my heart and forged itself to my soul.

it's all very surreal sometimes, isn't it?

days fly by

2011-01-07T14:27:00.000-05:00

somehow we ended up here...although we always do, don't we? end up where we are, that is.

life in these parts has been a blur of busy -- somehow the days ooze into one another and before we know it, an entire week has passed.

Monday was Savannah's 8th birthday {January 3rd} -- no photos of that...we absorbed the day and i must confess to not feeling camera-ish these days...something about the grey and bleak outside that does nothing to inspire me to take photographs. and there's something to be said for experiencing the day fully, without thought to how it will look afterwards in a blog-post. plus, i'm lazy and keep leaving the camera in places far from where i happen to be in times of inspiration.

so...we girls took ourselves (somewhat foolishly, as the Boxing Week sales were still on) to do some shopping. she had her Xmas gift-cards burning a hole in her pocket....and they were for bookstores and art-supply stores and Wally World (ack! but it meant a new game for her DSi)....which meant i got to hang out with her in bookstores and art-supply stores. suh-weet. there was a book on horses and a new bookmark (horsey, of coursey) and a GIANT Bristol sketchbook for the further pursuit of her latest obsession in large, mural-type drawings.

{the evolution of her horse drawings continues....}

there's also been....

a little science to go with our art

{clearly this happened BEFORE i took down the tree}

{foam robot assemblage}

oh - and more episodes of Merlin. we finished the first season last night -- and would you believe we have to WAIT until at least January 18th for the second season to be released on DVD (according to Amazon)?!?!

we're not sure we can wait until it becomes available on Netflix. we are, without a doubt, ADDICTED. i am not impressed at all with whomever is in charge of all this licensing and permissions business that makes it impossible for us to view episodes streaming from the U.S. hmph!

so now i'm on the hunt for a decent child-friendly version of the Arthurian legends...i don't want anything Disneyfied nor anything as dry as the old tomes. any suggestions?

oh - and a good do-it-mostly-yourself kids cookbook?

happy new year...

2011-01-01T14:18:00.000-05:00

i woke up this morning (almost 8am - GASP!) to the sound of rain on the bedroom window. it seemed so perfect....the rain washing away what was left of 2010. then, when i got up and took Emma-dog out....i heard birds singing. (a real rarity around these parts in January). those things together confirmed for me that 2011 is going to be a really, really good year. you can, as do i, interpret good howsoever feels right to you.

goodies from the Big Box o' Art Supplies from Grandma L

i didn't get the house cleaned yesterday -- not for lack of effort. i was tidying up around here and there when i got sucked into the marathon of River Monsters on Discovery channel. B had put it on for Savannah while she was arting and before long, all three of us were glued in fascinated horror to the screen. (we shall not speak of the things that some fish do in the Amazon *shudder*) still, we learned a lot.

after that, we went up to my mom's for an early birthday party for Savannah. pizza, cake and ice-cream on the menu -- although we're all fairly food-ed out by now. and a few more just-what-i-always-wanted gifts to make her soul sing.

she has a passion for EXTREMELY LARGE mural-type drawings these days

my hopes for the Jane Austen movie marathon were not to be realized so i browsed the selection on NetFlix (our newest discovery -- we're trying out the free 30 days!) and made my choice...saw everyone else settled and then tucked myself into bed with a weiner dog, two cats and the first season of Merlin cued up {i do believe i have mentioned that i'm an utter dork...i'm also a sucker for all-things-Arthur..besides, Colin Morgan has the cutest dimples...but i digress}.

well, it was only a short time before it was me, a weiner dog, two cats and two snuggly kids.

Sebastian: "What are you watching....oooh! It's a knight!" (climbs in beside me -- "'scuse me cat...")
{a moment or two later}
Savannah: "Hey, what are you guys watching? Oh, can I watch too?" (scootches along disgruntled weiner dog)
{10 minutes pass}
B: "Oh, i wondered where everyone went to....anybody need anything?" (goes back to the History channel after refilling water bottles and bringing cookies)

i'm happily ~~brainwashing~~ sharing my interests of all-things-Arthur...although Sebastian's fondness for knights and dragons and Savannah's love of all-things-magic, make them easy ~~marks~~ students.

needless to say...it was a moste excellente way to spend New Year's Eve...we happily leave the parties and noise-makers and drunken buffoonery to more willing participants.

AND -- i have some utterly delectable mail-art to share....tomorrow....because i have just been engaged to paint with my favourite painting partners...;)

hope you're spending this day following your bliss...

a word

2010-12-31T07:34:00.000-05:00

lots of folk around the Land of Blog are declaring their 'word' for 2011. i've no idea where i first read of this practice, but now it seems a popular alternative to those much-maligned Resolutions (insert ominous music here).

i've never been a fan of New Year celebrations. no idea why. i think partly it was the obligation to go out on New Year's Eve and get stupid. i may have mentioned my hermitish inclinations...those aren't new.

so of course, i never made Resolutions either...they just got lumped in with all the foolishness and i opted out on principle. i also had a fairly good grasp on the fact that i'd likely be setting myself up for failure. which isn't meant to sound as self-defeating as it does....it's just a side-effect of Perfectionism -- "Set lofty goals that will be extraordinarily difficult to achieve, and then self-flagellate mercilessly when the inevitable falling-short occurs." OR "Set lofty goals that will be extraordinarily difficult to achieve and then avoid trying altogether for fear of aforementioned falling-short/failure."

happily, i am now a recovering Perfectionist. it's been almost a year now since my last fit of Perfectionism. it really does get easier. ;)

i skipped doing my 'word' last year....perhaps i had some inner knowledge that 2010 was going to KICK MY ASS so i didn't bother. mind you, i also wasn't really blogging much at the turn of 2009 so that might have had something to do with it. which, is something worth thinking about in and of itself.

so yeah, 2010 has been a corker. personally and familialy (new word) it has been a rollercoaster ride of extremes. some incredible highs and some really awful lows. {note: i don't do retrospectives either}. so i'm really, really hoping that 2011 is going to be a kinder, gentler year. according to what i've read about The Year of the Rabbit...it should be a welcome breather from the trials of the Tiger.

i think, even globally, 2010 has been one of huge shifts. and of course there's all that 2012 malarky floating about.....(cue the third apocalypse in my memory)...i'm more inclined to align myself with the school of thought that has it representing a spiritual/cultural shift rather than the planet going supernova...and i think the undercurrents of that are already beginning.

but, i wax philosophical. i also digress. you've all probably scrolled down looking for my damn word...:)

so here it is......

ENGAGE

verb

1.. To promise or pledge one's self; to enter into an obligation; to become bound; to warrant. [1913 Webster]

2. To embark in a business; to take a part; to employ or involve one's self; to devote attention and effort; to enlist; as, to engage in controversy. [1913 Webster]

3. to occupy attention of....absorb, capture, attract, catch, hold [2004, Oxford]

4. To enter into conflict; to join battle; as, the armies engaged in a general battle. [1913 Webster]

5. (Mach.) To be in gear, as two cogwheels working together. [1913 Webster]

i had thought of a different word first...and now i can't even remember what it was...and then this one popped into my head and i knew it was The One.

i have this tendency to drift in the Elsewhere...my mind wanders off and staying Present is not a natural tendency for me so this is enough of a challenge and i'm very interested to see where it will take me. i still feel i have a lot of soul-work to do (hence #5) and i have some little seeds of ideas that will cover #2...and of course, #1 is the whole point of adopting a word-mantra for the year.

oh - and i'll share again my mom's superstition about new year's day -- howsoever you spend that day, will set the tone for the whole year -- so...no laundry or housework, no arguments, no ill-feelings....so be sure to get that all out today and spend tomorrow following your bliss :)

so long, 2010 -- i hereby release you and all your woes to the wild wind.....

many blessings everyone -- i hope 2011 brings you much love, laughter and Light...

xoxox

ps. and if the Universe loves me, the Jane Austen movie marathon will be on PBS again tonight as it was last year -- BEST new years' eve EVER {i know, right? i'm a total nerd} :)

how it was

2010-12-27T20:44:00.000-05:00

it was...

busy. really busy. okay, maybe not so busy by regular-people standards...but for us slightly-hermity, difficult-transitiony, move-through-life-at-our-own-Zen-pacey type people...well, let's just say we are very glad it's over for another year. we paid our last visit yesterday and it was most enjoyable....but yes, it's over. *phew*

medieval knight costume from Grandma L.

he's very difficult to photograph when he's "in character"
oh, and he's actually a pirate, not a Knight...(he's workshopping new material)

there were more than a few declarations of this being "the BEST Christmas EVER!!" from the Shiny Ones...Savannah was orbiting the Earth several times in delight over her gifts. there was clear evidence of people really getting her this year....thoughtful choices that pleased her to no end, because being understood, i am discovering, is very, very important to her. but then again, don't we all like to feel understood?

relaxing between social obligations...colouring book and 'Beezus and Ramona' on audio-CD

and speaking of being understood...my Beloved, B knocked me three miles sideways and made me cry with his so-very-thoughtful gifts. we hadn't planned on really exchanging gifts this year - -money has been tight and we wanted to channel our available funds into gifts for the children -- but he (and his trusty sidekick, Savannah) got his hands on a flyer from an arts-supply store that i'd dreamily doodled hearts around things i'd loved to have had and made a couple of my wishes come true.

i know, right?

it wasn't so much the paints or the canvasses or the artist pencils, as it was me feeling well and truly loved. this journey of mine back into art and creativity has been a rocky one -- i've wrestled with the Shoulds and the Shouldn'ts of Motherhood vs. Creativity (finally realizing that is doesn't have to be a versus thing at all --- i know, you're thinking "Duh!"-- but hey, i had baggage..) and to have my heart's desire not only accepted, but supported and encouraged by my Dearest Loves...well...you can understand the happy sobbing.

and then there were the shrieks of delight and the fierce hugs of the girl-child who only wanted a Nintendo DS but ended up with the DSi XL -- (yeah, i didn't know the difference either) and quietly corrects anyone who calls it just a DS (and yup, that one made me cry too!) and Sebastian hugging every new item close to his chest and proclaiming 'thank you VERY much' to the air...

*sigh*

relaxing with a new book (no, she doesn't need glasses, she's hiding from the camera)

yes, i do believe it was the BEST Christmas EVER!

not a lot, but certainly enough.

the solstice was...

2010-12-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

camera refusing to use flash=blurry photos

rather tiring.

there were/are odd energies flying about, methinks, and i found the whole experience rather exhausting. i was awake and restless during the eclipse but unable to actually see it. so added to my series of restless nights, i'm thoroughly knackered.

but, there was...

a new scarf for Sebastian and a new wooly hat for B

a framed painting of mine for Savannah....

and books of paper airplane design and science experiments; a sticker books and a colouring book

Beauty and the Beast and Earth and The Silver Stallion...

and warmth and candle-light and a lovely roast chicken dinner.

but probably the best present of all was Savannah regaining her confidence on the back of a patient spotted pony named Lucy. she was grinning from ear-to-ear throughout the whole lesson and it confirmed for me that we did the right thing to move her to this much more nurturing and Real place.

and so...we're almost at Christmas. it's sort of hurry-up-and-wait at this point...a tiny bit of wrapping left, some nibbles to prepare for our Christmas Eve soiree tomorrow...but mostly i've shut down the busy-factory and encouraging kindness to ourselves.

wishing you all the very best of the season...much laughter, Light and joy...i'll see you all on the other side ;)

~m.

sunday...again

2010-12-19T17:52:00.000-05:00

where has the time gone?

my current outlet for stress...origami is highly addictive (no scrap of paper is safe)

painting

"peace serpents" (a Savannah original-concept)

running in with tidbits about deer stampedes

chess

origami

on the phone to Laiba in Pakistan

snow-play

wrapping

writing

meltdowns and hysteria (sometimes even the children)

secrets in the cupboard

headaches and sore tummies

'the christians and the pagans' ;)

visiting

baking

cleaning (not even close to being done that yet)

poetry

knitting (all major projects finished...wooot!)

new movies

a solar system

Black Beauty audio-CD

.....and lots of deep breaths and cuddles.

it's truly difficult to hang onto peaceful life at this time of year. desperately i'd like to cocoon us in a fortress of solitude...but at the same time, we enjoy (mostly) the hustle and bustle of family and going and doing....

~*~

i'm not one for retrospectives and cringe at the thought of 'resolutions'.... but i am ruminating on some intentions for 2011....an aspect of which i've started over here.. it struck me as a most delightful project and one i intend to continue on past the month of January.

but for now...it's one day to the next until Xmas....and i don't mind admitting, i'll be glad when it's all over. ;)

sunday musings

2010-12-12T09:24:00.001-05:00

(something to listen to you while you visit)

a strange week...not entirely wonderful, not entirely horrific either. (my Nanna is getting better...gaining strength daily...many thanks for your assorted kindnesses)

so it's been a week of reflection, of counted blessings and deeper thought on what this time of year really means for us. it's also been a week of arguing and fighting and tears and temper and cuddles and proclamations of love.

handmade history hanging on our beautiful tree

yep. we've about covered it all.

Bashy's Solstice gift...a mini-version of B's scarf from last year

some of it i'll blame on (my)hormones...some of it i'll blame on the stresses that come with this season (and they do come, no matter how hard we try to maintain that state of inner peace and Presence)....some of it i'll blame on me not keeping all of the important stuff in perspective....and helping my Shinies do the same.

but let us not dwell on that which we cannot change. instead, we're moving forward, with new perspectives and new delights.

a gift from distant Devon....handmade JOY!

it's a rainy Sunday morning. i got up extra early so that i could hit the 24-hour Wal-Mart to finish up a few odds and ends of shopping...stocking stuffers for extended family and whatnot. (may i just mention how much i loathe that place?). i stopped in to get the newspaper and coffee for my Beloved B....just so he wouldn't have to go out in the drizzle when he woke up (that's just how much i *heart* him) and i'm sitting here with the tree lights twinkling in the early grey light, sipping my coffee and sinking deep into the peace.

the fruits of Savannah's and Auntie B's baking labours -- choccie-dipped cherry mice!

i know, right? :)

i wish i could articulate the swirling of thoughts and emotion in my head and heart. i wish i could share how blessed i feel to have a warm house and food on our table -- i know we don't have a lot, but we surely have enough.

it's been a difficult year -- financially and emotionally -- but i feel happier in all things than i remember ever feeling. perhaps it's the whittling down....the simplifying....the realizing of what truly matters.

life is good. really good.

tuesday and wednesday

2010-12-08T19:45:00.000-05:00

full days this last while.....knitting, crafting, writing, playing, baking.....

our gift tag making evolved into Chrimbly card making. we don't *do* cards, as such -- but we thought we'd whip up a few for our immediate family members.

Sebastian *reads* me the crocodile story while i'm working in the kitchen....

taking up more or less permanent residence on the table....

makin' lava cakes...(yep, from A Box)

oh, yeah...they were realllllly goooooood!

in happy news - the car is back....complete with a new (to us) starter -- for much less than we'd ~~dreaded~~ imagined. we are soooo thankful for that.

in not-so-happy-but-then-happy-news -- my Nanna was taken to hospital today. i got a call at work from my dad -- she'd been admitted because of severe dehydration. she'd had tummy bug since Monday and wasn't drinking enough fluids to counteract the diarrhea she was experiencing. i'd spoken to my Gramps about that just last night...about how important it was for her to drink. three bags of IV fluids, blood tests and an x-ray later and she was sent home. phew! so she's on the mend....and we are EXTREMELY thankful for that! it was a very worrying day. any thoughts/prayers/candles/wishes for her continued good health would be very much appreciated. :)

and as such...i'm utterly exhausted....time for a cup of tea and a bit of quiet reading.

remember to hug your loved ones extra tight....

december 5 (a retrospective)

2010-12-06T07:58:00.000-05:00

from the Countdown to Chrimbly...

make home-made gift tags!

and so we did. recycling the vast collection of old holiday cards that i've been ~~hoarding~~ saving for a wonderful purpose...

the during:

the end-result:

'twas most satisfying.....

in other news...i'm knitting 'til my eyes cross and my hands seize into knots. our noble steed decided it just wanted a day-and-a-half rest and decided to start yesterday afternoon right after B had called CAA to arrange a tow. perhaps it just wanted to trundle to the mechanic on it's own speed....

now it's fingers and toes crossed for Nothing Major and Fairly Inexpensive...which of course is laughable because trips to the mechanic are both Major and Expensive by default.

soundtrack sunday....

2010-12-05T13:33:00.000-05:00

he's gone from us now...but his message is timeless....

~wishing you peace~

december 4

2010-12-04T20:37:00.000-05:00

day 4 of our Countdown to Chrimbly....

use up the Blockbuster gift cards from last year -- movies and snacks = movie night!!

alas, our faithful steed - ye olde automobile - having battled courageously on these last weeks with a dodgy distributor cap, decided that it had done it's part and now needs mechanical attention. (it always packs it in on a weekend) which meant a very cold bike ride to work for me this morning (i'm too cheap to take the bus unless the weather is horrific) and no trip to the movie store.

but we had just borrowed Santa Paws from Nanna so we watched that instead. we made a lovely roast pork dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans and pretended we were snowed in.

i'll refrain from a review -- suffice it to say, Savannah LOVED it and we must be more lenient in our tastes when it comes to holiday fare ;). it was cute. cheesy, but cute. ahem. i'm a "It's a Wonderful Life" and (the original) "Miracle on 34th Street" fan, myself -- and of course "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and "The Muppet Family Christmas" are also huge favourites....

how about you? what are your holiday favourites?

catching up...

2010-12-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

somehow, December arrived when i wasn't looking...the fact that it fell on a Wednesday (the day i work all day) probably had something to do with it's stealthy approach.

however.

contrary to my usual policy of 'nothing remotely Chrimbly-ish until December 1st'- the very fact it fell on a Wednesday meant Savannah's well-argued point won out and we got some of the decorations out on Tuesday...

we also have a policy of preferring handmade decorations to those store-bought -- so the old crafted masterpieces are placed first....if there's any room left, a few other choice pieces get some air-time.

Savannah is the Queen of Decorating....she spontaneously crafts all December long and we are festooned with new brilliance almost daily. she's even decorated around Tyler's bean-bag.

i was also caught napping with our Countdown to Chrimbly....although it didn't really matter because the first order of business was decorating the house. (check)

we usually don't get our tree until much closer to Solstice but Savannah is lobbying hard to get it a little earlier -- i see her point -- there were hardly any left when we went last year and we ended up with a darling Charlie Brown version....so i met her halfway and we'll go next weekend.

and our pile of craft to-do's is looming ominously large...i think i over-estimated both my skill and speed at knitting....

but other than that -- i'm resolved to a no-stress holiday season...i REFUSE to be sucked into any sort of high drama or consumerist agitation. OH..which reminds me, sort of -- postal JOY the other day when the hand-puppets i ordered for Sebastian from here arrived.....they are FANTASTIC (he's gonna love 'em) -- i strive to give as much in the way of hand-made items...and if i can't make it myself, i'm happy to support those who do.

sorta balances out the over-packaged, plasticky, crap they'll never play with....oh? did i say that out loud?

water flowing around the rocks....

this rambling, barely coherent post brought to you by the mama who's been awake since 2am with the (almost-new)moon-buzzing boy-child....*sigh*

ps. i'm working myself up to telling the tale of one of my all-at-once best and worst parenting moments...

i don't like Mondays....

2010-11-29T18:02:00.000-05:00

Simba...in repose

this about sums up our Monday.

too much of everything on the weekend and trying to do too much more of it this morning led to three very crabby people (B was off dealing with other sorts of crabby people so was thankfully immune)....it all came to a very grumpy head when we set off for our dog walk...something none of us really fancied doing in the first place.

now we're a tell-it-like-it-is-go-right-ahead-and-express-yourself sort of family. which gets rather interesting when we're all in a grouch.

deep breaths, cups of tea and peanut-butter and honey sandwiches can do wonders to soothe the savage soul.

and just resting.

it's amazing how one's outlook changes after a couple of hours of not being very busy at all.

soundtrack sunday....

2010-11-28T14:23:00.000-05:00

the music that has accompanied my walking meditations as of late...the kind the draws the poetry from the depths of the Dreaming....

Lorenna McKennitt - The Old Ways ~ for the licensing-challenged...;)

our days this last are filled to the delicious brim with -- art and poetry....mail art, ornaments for a Chrimbly* tree in Texas; a mama sifting through her dreams and the wide-eyed wonder of the untarnished as the first snow flies...

what they aren't filled with is photographs because the camera batteries died and i've yet to buy more....

later, perhaps.

~blessings

*the most delectable term - Chrimbly - unashamedly thieved from the equally delectable Earthenwitch....

happiness is...

2010-11-26T20:11:00.000-05:00

the Pony Club 'D' workbook...

doing a quiz...under the watchful eye of Prof. Malcolm

she has read and quizzed her way through the entire thing.....in two days....

relentless in the pursuit of her bliss

suh-weet.

(the actual testing isn't until March...i'm pretty sure she'll have it down by then)

thankful thursday

2010-11-25T08:26:00.000-05:00

mmmm....so many things....

hot coffee on a cold morning

the wild wind

the taste of poetry

friends

"Pony Club Power"

my hot weiner-bottle (aka Oscar, a small but delightfully toasty sausage)

ideas

inspiration

giggles from the boy-child

painting

mail art

the infinite imagination of a small girl

full hearts

full bellies

warmth

shelter from the storm

'i'll read to you and then you read to me"

learning with joy

love....always

happy Thanksgiving to my American friends...may you find warmth, joy and laughter in the company of your beloved -- today and every day.

*playing along with the beautiful Leslie

tuesday was...

2010-11-23T18:51:00.000-05:00

warm...

then cold.

walking meditation in the wild wind...searching for the words that darted just out of reach.

paper and scissors and glue

readying the envelopes for our Countdown to Chrimbly (details to follow)

poetry

Jump Start

reading aloud

thoughts of painting....and then painting...

big-ass paper waiting for my latest BIG masterpiece. Sebastian modelling for size perspective

eraser crumbs

toast crumbs

three cups of tea

tacos for dinner

playing with our food

dried-up carrots and motley apples...good for ponies...and food-art (the clementines and peppermints are just visiting)

it was a difficult day.

this side of the full moon leaves me feeling rather drained....it's a time when i want to retreat and not do much. i had a poem that wanted writing and a painting wanting paint but both were an effort and the feeling like i *ought* to be doing either was grating on my nerves.

i may have been a bit snippy.

grace and gratitude. such were the mantras of my day.

it always looks different in hindsight.

what happened on Sunday

2010-11-22T09:32:00.000-05:00

you know how you just Know when something is a Good Thing?

it's that deep intuitive - YES! *insert fist pump into air* -- or maybe it's more of a calm and breathy moment of exhale-and-immerse in the Rightness of it all.

yesterday was our first foray into a Pony Club event....they have monthly education sessions during the fall and winter months. the older, more experienced kids will teach the youngers or sometimes an *expert* is called in....it's all very hands-on and full of enthusiastic lust-for-interest-led-learning. which, in and of itself, turns my crank.

but the best thing about yesterday....in light of our current challenges...was the way my sweet, sweet, oh-so-reserved girl was the first to volunteer to try to put on a shipping bandage, how she was all answering-of-questions and wielding-of-hoofpicks, how she was right in there and oh, so HAPPY. (cue misty-eyed mama).

what a different world. such warm, welcoming people -- a barn that looks like a barn -- no pretensions, long-maned, shaggy-coated ponies; farm kitchens, don't-worry-about-your-shoes and please-come-we'll-find-her-something-to-ride.

and so we've arranged with one of the older girls - the lovely Allie - to take Savannah on as a student - where there's a shaggy, spotted pony that is Just Her Size who will help her rebuild the confidence that has been so heartbreakingly shaken.

after much discussion and affirmation that it's okay-if-she-doesn't-want-to, we've established that Savannah is desperately keen to carry on....and we were looking for the best way to help her do just that.

this change feels so very Right.

our girl, it seems, has found her Tribe.

soundtrack sunday

2010-11-21T08:09:00.000-05:00

okay...not a song. but so very worth thinking about.....

learn more here.

we have affirmed....will you?

when good haircuts go bad

2010-11-20T13:32:00.000-05:00

funny thing happened yesterday.

i suppose it's one of those childhood rites of passage things....you know, those horror stories recounted with glee at family gatherings when the involved parties are decades older.

i suppose it was only a matter of time.

i should preface this by saying this is another one of those Truth in Advertising posts where i don't gloss over the gory details.

it was early evening and the kids and i had just returned from a visit with my mom and dad, B wasn't yet home from his day of running around various court-houses and law-firms doing assorted legally-paperworkish things....i was settling in with a cuppa for a bit of blog-reading and the kids were downstairs playing quietly.

that, Dear Reader, is when my maternal antennae should have been all a-quiver. "quietly". clearly, i was tired/couldn't be bothered/thankful for the peace.

Sebastian suddenly materialized beside me wearing assorted stickers on his face and wrapped up in twine. not unusual in itself, they have a rather strange dynamic at times, these two cherubim of mine. but this latest escapade of attire could not disguise the fact that Savannah had evidently decided his hair needed a bit of a trim ("It was getting in his eyes!"). which he did. i just hadn't got around to it.

(photo taken this morning)

here's where i'd like to say i handled it with the cool, calm and thoroughly Zen attitude of a more enlightened mother who of course realizes, It's just hair, She's expressing her independence, It's of little importance in the Grand Scheme of Things, Bashy doesn't mind, It doesn't look that bad....and other such wisdoms. and there's also the monumental irony of her dreadlocks which some people would consider the epitome of Hair Crimes and view with downright revulsion...and not only have i supported her decision but also aided and abetted their creation. what kind of mother am i?

but this is my baby boy.

and his beautiful golden hair.

after i attempted to make it even, he looked less like a victim of a nuclear accident but it really, really, really bugged me. really.

and i told Savannah so.

and i forbid her to EVER do anything like that again. (amongst other recriminations that i don't even remember in my moment of angst over the hairdo). all of which i felt horrible about after having time to calm down.

so what's the deal? who was that person who reared her authoritarian head and FREAKED OUT over a bad haircut?

alas, it seems i still have vestiges of the Curse Of Caring What Other People Think.

which really sucks because i thought i'd risen above that. i mean, i do rise above that -- on a daily basis, even. and to think i had a moment (okay, several) over something as superficial as hair. ugh.

maybe it had something to do with my own baggage about bad haircuts. one too many during high school...

but mostly it's got me thinking. i'll let you know what i come up with. if anything.

ps. Savannah is utterly cool with the whole thing, she regarded my freak-out with much bemusement. she is clearly more enlightened than i. and yes, i apologized for getting crabby and saying ridiculous things.

this moment

2010-11-19T10:02:00.000-05:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

joining in with SouleMama

thankful thursday

2010-11-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

quiet mornings

green tea

the crunch of leaves underfoot

oil pastels

sisterhood

words on paper

blue eyes

conversation

down time

feather pillows

dinosaur pajamas...

and you?

borrowed from the lovely Leslie......

ideas

2010-11-17T05:46:00.000-05:00

a really cool snippet from one of the most interesting voices in education reform that i've heard speak in quite some time. while he always seems to stop short of actual solutions....i find he's quietly affirming that we unschooly/life-learny types might actually be onto something...

go figure.

(sorry for any copyright issues with viewing....here's the actual YouTube link..if it helps)

chess for breakfast

2010-11-16T09:53:00.003-05:00

i watched for a while but couldn't quite decipher what their rules were...if there were any.

but that's okay. they were thoroughly engrossed, not arguing and i got to drink my coffee in blessed peace.

life is good this Tuesday morning.

celebrating the Love along with Stephanie...

what does Love look like for you today?

"there are plenty of sticks in the sea"

2010-11-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

unseasonably warm temperatures and the satisfying weight of my toasted egg sandwich and coffee in my tummy, led me to the magnanimous decision early this morning, that it should be a day of Going Out. what that entailed exactly wasn't entirely clear, but Savannah helpfully suggested a walk down to the stream.

first, of course, we had to walk the dogs -- not so much for the exercise as for the bribery factor ie. "please don't pee on the rug (emma) or chew up the crayons (tyler) or raid the halloween stash (oscar) in spite while we go somewhere without you."

i could tell by halfway through the dog walk that Sebastian was not in a good fettle. i kept my maternal Knowings to myself however, so that i wouldn't come off like the Harbinger of Doom to Savannah who by now was rather excited about our upcoming adventure.

after our lengthy doggy hike (we did the entire bike path for extra insurance against canine retaliation) we stopped at the house long enough to drop them off (with further bribes of peanut-butter-smeared dog biscuits) and for me to pack our backpack with a few essentials...our blanket for sitting on, drinks and snacks and my journal - both written and art - should it turn into a long-job. at this point, Sebastian was quite keen.

it was a lovely leafy walk down past the cemetery...there was much jumping and cavorting about the leaf piles and i happily thought i'd been premature in my assessment of Bashy's mood. (now would be a good time to draw your attention to the fabulous stick specimen that he had first picked up on our dog walk - it's a 'doubler' and just the right height for pointing while he walks).

so all was well...i wandered around snapping idle photos and the kids busied themselves throwing stones and poking around in the leaf piles. if not for the hum of the highway across the hill, we could have imagined ourselves somewhere less.....highway-ish.

now, i could just end here....i could do the 'buffed and glossed' version of our day -- as i'm usually tempted to do. my new blogging policy, however, involves full disclosure. you see, i've found that the blogs i like to read the most, are the ones that don't necessarily buff and polish -- they have that refreshing breath of reality...so here's what else happened:

~ i stepped in dog poo
~ a daddy-long-legs was fatally wounded between the pages of my journal
~Savannah got her treasured sneakers covered in stream-slime
~ she also felt something prickling her, looked at her sweater only to discover she was covered in...(and i quote) "earwig butts" -- cue histrionics. they were actually burr-type things that really did resemble, in the quiet aftermath of their removal, the pincer-end of an ear-wig
~ Sebastian had had enough long before his sister did and an exasperating battle of wills took place before she eventually conceded that she was cold and her feet were slightly wet and she didn't want Sebastian to have to stay any longer (he had already agreed to two extensions).

and then...

we left without his stick.

but he didn't realize that until we were three-quarters of the way home.

at which point he came to a halt. now anyone who truly knows Sebastian knows these silent protests for what they are -- he's genuinely troubled and doesn't really know how to proceed. he's not having a tantrum and he's not being belligerent. he's just not sure.

most of the time, this centers around transitioning from one thing/place to another. when he was younger, it often included crying and a tantrum.

on this occasion however, i imagine he was torn between wanting his stick and wanting to go home.

and so we walked on.

and on.

we were hoping our disappearing into the distance would prompt him into moving. (he's not inclined to budge if you stand there waiting for him - a fact which proves problematic in crowded, public places --- he needs the time and that's that.)

but then his sister, his beloved sister - walked back down the path to try and convince him to join us....

she told him..."there are plenty of other sticks in the sea"

of course, this would be a delightfully dramatic and poignant way to end the story -- and i did briefly consider it. (see aforementioned policy). although i have left out the silent and sometimes-not-so-silent stream of profanity i unloaded on myself for not remembering to pick up his stick before we left.

in the end we hid behind a tree until he wondered where we'd gone and ambushed him when he went past. at which point we each took an arm and escorted him home.

that, dear reader, is exactly what Going Out looked like around here today.

true story.

soundtrack sunday....

2010-11-14T11:59:00.000-05:00

not that this is going to be a regular thing...i mean, why set myself up for the pressure, right?...but my FEARLESS leader, Connie, hooked me up to this guy (don't tell Bono, but Mr.Franti is my new boyfriend)...

and it's a grey and dreary day here...so who can't use a little sunshine? and eye candy...

(ahem)

happy sunday, my friends...

so what's the point?

2010-11-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

so many half-formed thoughts on things i'd like to write about.....this week has seen waves of synchronicity buffeting me about.

my blogging history is somewhat dodgy at best...i went from daily diatribes to dwindling off to packing it in altogether. something about feeling *required* to post -- even though that was ludicrously self-imposed -- put me off. add to that, a general world-weariness with the 'mommy-blogger' set and i went off in a huff.

a view from my ride to work on Wednesday

and it didn't help that i'd divided myself into three parts - this unschooly-themed blog, my arty efforts blog and another, more navel-gazing one which no longer exists in the public realm. i suppose the effort (yes, enormous, it was) to keep them all going eroded my enthusiasm.

i have a love-hate thing with blogging. i've come dangerously close to hitting Ye Olde Delete button many a time - existential crisis mostly...or paranoia over who might be reading...or rebellion against all the Other Unschooling Mother's who appear to be doing a better job than i am.

which, of course, is bullshit.

so i've wended my way to something of a disgruntled delight in the act of blogging -- having completely reframed my perspective. it's disgruntled only because i was sure i was done with the whole thing and had just got comfortable with my righteous indignation. i'm sure the disgruntlement will wear off in time.

all set to go to The Royal Winter Fair

so this will become more than 'just' our family unschooling blog.

i am more than the way i parent, and more than the devastating charm of my children -- although they are much to do with the space i occupy now. i'm not entirely sure how or in what ways, it will be more....but i know that i'm bored with posting pictures of what we do during a week....and occasionally frantic that the photographic lack will illustrate that we sometimes accomplish very little. (that can be documented by photos, of course)

i am content in the notion that the very few people who read regularly will perhaps become even fewer. but i am also quite content with the notion that whether or not anyone actually reads, i still have the odd interesting thing to say. that's a pretty huge revelation for me.

it's about fearlessness.

and being fearless has to start somewhere.

journey to dread...

2010-11-08T05:26:00.003-05:00

not as dire as it might sound!

the lovely Rose has asked for some pictures* of the ongoing event that are Savannah's dreadlocks...

we're about two months in now....a work-in-progress (the mama's hands and arms ache and the child's sitting-still-ability factor dictates how long our maintenance sessions last). the weaving in of the loose and fly-away hairs seems to be the only maintenance she requires now....most of the 'locks having formed nicely. i chose to do numerous slender 'locks because she has fine hair and is a wee pixie of a child....

last session i wove some ribbon and embroidery floss into a select few -- partly as decorative inspiration, partly to assist the natural locking. there's also a few wooden beads in there somewhere.

i started them by back-combing but now use a combo of that and crocheting to tighten them up. live and learn. no products used, though. she washes them once a week with Dr.Bronner's shampoo....which works well to help the tightening/tangling.

she is madly in love with her dreads (as am i) -- and is officially the coolest kid in our neighbourhood (my slightly biased opinion), although her Auntie A was also most admiring of them at the party yesterday....

roll on spring and it's my turn...

*she is a most elusive creature and so i must apologize for the quality of these photos as they were taken guerilla-style as she played at the park. she has promised to let me snap some better photos after our next maintenance session.

happy 40th....

2010-11-07T10:30:00.000-05:00

...Mom and Dad!!

photo cake -- they look so young....

we managed to pull off a surprise party yesterday....a combination 40th wedding anniversary (today) and my dad's 60th birthday (later this month)....

a surprise party is no small feat where my mother is concerned...but we did it! (high fives to me and my siblings)

'twas a grand event....and i'd post more pictures but my camera died after i'd taken the shots of the cake. :)

life with horses

2010-11-05T08:39:00.000-04:00

B and i decided when the children were still only tiny, that we wouldn't push our horsey life on them. we wouldn't assume that they'd follow in our footsteps...and, in fact, moved away from that life altogether. granted, it took B's accident to prompt him to move away - there really wasn't a choice -- but the important thing was that if either one was to choose to have horses in their life, it was to be a choice freely made.

some time last autumn, Savannah decided she'd like to take riding lessons. we asked her to wait until spring -- who wants to learn to ride in a Canadian winter? -- also to be sure it's what she really wanted..and not just a passing whim.

java -- naughty pony

fast forward to this autumn, and she's been taking weekly lessons since May. it's all gone very well and she is, genuinely and without bias (mostly), a natural talent. her lesson time changed to Thursday evenings about two months ago, and since that's my evening to work, B has been taking her. last night a shift cancellation meant i could take her and was very much looking forward to seeing how things have progressed.

but she's had a rough few weeks. she's been thrown twice in the last month - once it was unavoidable and she weathered it well, but the second time it was a ridiculous situation she was placed in where poor judgement on her instructor's part had the pony taking off at a smart gallop and although she almost stayed on, in the end, she fell off. that one, rattled her. now, she tells me on Wednesday night, she's afraid to trot.

*sigh*

so what does a mother do? there is a very real element in this horsey life that absolutely requires a measure of toughness. there's no pussy-footing around. she fell off and she will fall off again. ponies will bugger off; they'll buck; they'll do all manner of fiendish things. it's just a part of life with horses. how to communicate that to her without making it sound like a 'suck it up' speech. when really, that's what it is.

looking very serious -- note the size difference between pony and (beginner) rider :(

so we drew some cards.

and the lessons to be learned there were simple but powerful. i explained to her that the reason she was frightened was because she had forgotten. she had forgotten her own strength; she had forgotten that even though she was scared when she fell off the last time, she got back on. and i talked about how her pony would pick up on her feelings and that she needed to remember to keep her *heart balance* -- which is an over-simplified explanation of being calm and centered.

nevertheless, she was terrified. she was reluctant to trot and her pony picked up on that. so the poor assistant instructor had to run beside them to keep the little effer going (i'm not a fan of this pony -- he's naughty and he's a cheat....but i digress)...all the while, i hear Savannah whimpering and on the verge of tears. oh, how i did not want to be one of Those Mothers -- you know the ones...the over-involved, bossy types that don't respect the boundaries of the teacher/instructor/coach-student relationship -- but when it got to the point where her coach was apparently intent on trying to push her through her fear rather than address it, i stepped in. i gave her a little pep talk and reminded her of needing to remember her *balance*....and the lesson ended much better than it started and she felt good about how things finished.

but we're also exploring other options. i went to a meeting afterwards of the local Pony Club chapter -- having just signed her up.....it's a whole different dynamic than the typical 'show stables' and will give her a better practical knowledge and skills of horsemanship rather than just the part where you're riding around. it will also give us a network to find a place where there are ponies that aren't too big for the children riding them and....eventually, a pony of her own.

before all that though, she still needs to defeat the Java Monster.

tuesday

2010-11-02T16:02:00.000-04:00

Sebastian was awake at 4am. the new moon is just around the corner...i have no other explanation, really. B had insomnia and slept less than four hours. i got up at 5 am, after having dozed while listening to the boy singing along with a DVD.

i had an 11 am appointment at the bank -- discussions of consolidation, an effort to simplify debt. evidently you're not to be helped if you don't own a home. which is fine. we'll carry on as we were...i refuse to believe the cornerstone of success lies in brick and mortar. it's in the banks' best interest, after all, to keep you owing.

and so, when the menfolk lay themselves down for an afternoon nap and Savannah was outside playing, i went down to the art cave and i painted.

painted away the doubt...which wasn't hard...the doubt clings less these days. it's rather more a half-hearted attempt to bring us back under the umbrella of the Busy World. i have absolute faith that things will turn out just fine.

it isn't finished yet. i still have to do something with the hands. this week we're painting a memory....siphoning emotion onto the paper. and it reminded me that true success in life, as in painting, requires us to be fearless.

what if....

2010-11-01T13:50:00.000-04:00

every day.....

you got to stay at the Art Station.....as long as you wanted.

and you got to play computer games...as long as you wanted....

and recess came whenever you felt too big for the house so you pull on your sneakers and run out without your coat. then you tear around the tree and jump in huge piles of leaves until your nose runs and your cheeks are red and you almost wish you'd remembered your coat...almost.

~*~

what if, when we were growing up, there wasn't someone telling us to move to the next station (even though our painting wasn't done yet and we didn't like the play-house)? how would our lives be different now?

what if, The Experts didn't scare us with the evils of computer games and how they're eroding the minds and souls of our children (even though when given free access and steady guidance, our children are capable of making balanced choices)? could we accept that computers and games have a place?

what if, children were free to run and explore and experience the wild world around them without being hovered over and organized and lectured? would we still think it's irresponsible to let our kids out of arm's reach?

can you imagine what they might learn?

like shape and form and colour; like the vast power of imagination and our innate gifts of creativity; how you can learn physics and architecture without even realizing it by figuring out where to put the dynamite to demolish the computer-generated model; like how you discover the first frost and why it's on some leaves and not others and you might hypothesize why this is so. and without being told, you're right.

they might even learn that a paintbrush has equal value to an algorithm and a poem is just math in a different format.

all that, and more, before 11 am.

~*~

there are times when i despair that *i* don't know enough or have enough knowledge in some area or other to be responsible for the education of these children. that maybe lesson plans aren't such a bad idea; that maybe there should be more of this or that.

and then i remember that these children are amazing, and that as long as it's fed, their natural curiosity will take them so much farther than any preconceived ideas we might have over what *stuff* we think they should know. that to suppose we can know what lies ahead in the wonder of their lives is a mild form of arrogance. they are, after all, only on loan to us...and not ours to create in our own, or anyone else's image.

such is the beauty and the miracle of this life we are leading.

Samhain

2010-10-30T17:51:00.000-04:00

so Samhain/Halloween is upon us....seems the year has flown by once again. where does it go?

and while it's mostly about the costumes and candy for the kids, for me it's time to reflect...on the year past and the year ahead; on things to hold onto and things to let go. lots of thoughts on this....but they are for another place. so we'll do the trick-or-treat thing and then we'll read the story of Grandfather Deer and leave an apple at the bedside, in the hopes that He'll visit us in our dreams....

our seasonal display -- mostly random treasures (plus my acorn fetish)

quite a few changes around our little patch this last year....B losing his job, us deciding to throw our lot in with dreams and a life lived less for The Man and more for the things we believe in. (a wonderful post over here about that).

but it's a life off the beaten path....and it can be lonely. like unschooling for grown-ups.

always a cool new leaf to be added

so this turn of the Wheel sees me letting go of old hurts and worn-out arguments....it's an ongoing process because forgetting doesn't come easily for me....

reflections in the early light

and as the ghosts of the old year pass through the thinning veil, into our lives i will invite - self-compassion and creativity; generosity of spirit and Presence of mind...

that the coming year shall fill our lives and those of our family and friends with love and laughter, warmth and sustenance; joy and light....and if some good books and new paints should be on offer, we'd happily invite those as well. ;)

wishing you and yours a blessed Samhain....

so....where've we been?

2010-10-25T18:45:00.000-04:00

ah yes....too lazy to upload pictures again....but we've been sorta busy...

walking in the woods...

and we've been painting these really BIG paintings....

*scribble*...by Savannah

*flow*...by Savannah

because any kid with this much confidence in her individuality and personal style....

needs to learn that she deserves to hang onto it.

autumn....

2010-10-16T15:09:00.000-04:00

dawn through the trees...Kerncliff

sure i'm a blog-slacker.....no excuses beyond a bit of can't-be-arsed and a lot of navel-gazing as of late...

moving onwards, however...

we had a gorgeous Thanksgiving weekend last weekend....back-to-back turkey fabulousness at Aunty S's and then Aunty B's.....

can we talk about how much i *heart* pumpkin pie? can we extol the virtues of this noble vegetable? for years i shied away from the idea of a pie made out of pumpkin (ewwwww!) and then one day i was convinced to try a slice. i've been making up for lost time ever since. i made the pie for my sister's dinner....and brought the leftovers home...and ate 'em for breakfast the next day.

~*~

at some point over the afternoon at Aunty S's, Sebastian picked up an etcha-sketch type doodle-board thingy (what are they called, anyway?) and proceeded to draw some rather spectacular pirates. this is a child who rarely has shown interest in picking up a crayon and drawing and has caused more than a few faithless moments of doubt in this crazy unschooling path with his disinterest in all things writing-related. sure, he paints from time to time but not really.... so here he is drawing rather amazing likenesses on this magnetic-filings-metal-tipped-pen thingamy. which in and of itself was quite delightful. (naturally, i didn't have the camera on hand)

and being the klepto that he is...he needed to take aforementioned board home at the end of the visit. once home, he wanted to write the letters of the alphabet. at his request i guided his hand for the upper case letters (i figured they'd be the easiest to start with) and of course there were dramatic interpretations a la "letter-yoga" for each one.

and THEN....to my amazement, not only did he start again on his own....forming perfect upper-case letters (no backwards d's or b's or s's)....he did all of the lower-case. perfectly. without us ever having done them before.

wtf?

seriously. all this from spending time going over this crazy alphabet poster he has where we act out a scene from Sesame Street where Prairie Dawn is trying to do the Letter of the Day and Cookie Monster keeps eating the letters (Cookie Monster played by yours truly).

amazing stuff, isn't it?

which of course prompted a vast amount of navel-gazing on this path we've chosen and how although we've made certain sacrifices in terms of income etc. -- this is some kind of amazing thing.....these great leaps of learning...of pursuing natural inclination and curiosity....this utterly innate ability to learn what we need to know without having to be sat down and drilled and then assessed and measured on how well we know it.

it's so hard sometimes, to keep the faith in the face of so much criticism and disbelief -- usually from well-intentioned people...which makes all the concern and advice that much harder to dismiss. because it's the lack of quantifiable proof (in the form of grades and test scores) that makes unschooling difficult to explain to people. most don't do well with the 'just trust them' speech. *sigh*

but when stuff like this happens....well....it totally rocks. :)

oh, and also...we made cookies.

lovin' this life...

truly.

a tour of the art cave...

2010-10-05T18:59:00.000-04:00

this fabulous space was transformed by my genius dad from a sort of non-space -- not really a room, not really an anything -- in between the laundry room and B's office in the basement. Masterminded by my design-on-a-dime mom we added some shelves and a purpose and Hey Presto! -- we have a dedicated art-space. which is great for containing mess and supplies but most of all it gives WORTH to the pursuit of all things Art....

both kids (mostly Savannah) and i spend time in here doing various and assorted things following a recent and massive decluttering we have moved things around to make more room to work and better use of our shelf space. in the aftermath of this New and Improved space, i felt compelled to add some impromptu signage...

the only Rules of the art cave are -- don't leave your brushes to dry and get crispy and try not to waste paint. but sometimes, you do have extra paint...thusly, you paint on the wall....

deliciously naughty of us, no?

2010-10-04T14:44:00.000-04:00

rainy Sunday stroll with Emma

this morning, after gobbling down a bowl of cereal (just for my benefit, i'm quite sure) Savannah jumped on her bike and pedaled like fury (pretty much the usual way she rides her bike) to the mailbox to post her entry into a poetry contest. how cool is that? it was in the autumn issue of chickaDEE magazine....write a scary poem using a minimum of five words from their list for a chance at some Halloween-themed book or other. mostly she just wanted to enter the contest.

her creation goes as follows....

dark fog slithers

through shadow skeletons.

midnight monsters

eat you.

she needed a bit of guidance as to what to do with the list of words she chose and what exactly constitutes a "poem" so i prompted her for a verb here and there but the final arrangement was hers. she rocks.

retaining wall

today was the first day without rain for quite a stretch.....but the chill of autumn is definitely here. a brisk wind pinked our cheeks and stung our fingers on our morning dog-walk but still, we stretched it out to the long version having been cooped up for too long.

CAPTURED! -- a snappy dresser, as always, he's not actually facing the television.

it was home to curried pierogies for lunch followed by home-made (from a package :P) cookies for dessert. (an interesting scent-cocktail that!). afterwards, i fiddled a bit with my manuscript and Savannah retreated to listen to a book on CD. Sebastian is playing math games on the Sesame Street website.

cocooning time is upon us....

....but we're down with that.

about a week ago....

2010-10-02T18:27:00.001-04:00

we were at our favourite park......it was still nice and warm then (it's cold and rainy now)...and the Zamboni from the attached arena had gifted a large pile of not-quite-melted snow...

which makes lovely Snand-Goblins (that's a snow-sand combination...just FYI)

it's not often you get to run barefoot through the snow....in t-shirt...without sustaining frostbite.

me? i wandered aimlessly about taking pictures of skeletal leaves...

this is posted as a retrospect....because i was too lazy to upload them earlier. :)

chess fever

2010-09-17T19:33:00.002-04:00

after the kids nagged him to, B set up an informal chess-school in the yard.

they caught on quickly and now our yard is the place to be -- there's an ongoing tournament.

go figure.

$4 chess set + curiosity fostered = some really thinky kids.

suh-weet.

kid vs. cat

2010-09-16T19:24:00.003-04:00

Sebastian chose a $4 chess set with his birthday money (gotta love this kid's sense of value!).

mostly he acts out the Pixar-short (from the beginning of A Bug's Life, i think) where the old man plays chess against himself. he even fakes the heart attack.

sometimes Snowbell plays too. :)

*back-dated post because last week was...well...not conducive to sitting at the computer. ;)

Back to school....NOT!

2010-09-07T19:49:00.000-04:00

aaahhhhh.....empty parks!

we spent a leisurely morning...(french toast and smoothies for breakfast)...Savannah decided what she wants to learn next (telling time) and then we headed out to do some errands. which of course ended with a side-trip to the park....

although we don't really plan exactly what we do each day...we are finding our way back to a certain routine and rhythm. the lazy chaos of summer (and the heat-induced sloth) doesn't really suit us and it generally devolves into madness.

it was a warm and humid day again today -- nothing compared to summer -- but it meant lots of outdoor time. just how we like it.

i'm feeling very blessed for the life we lead....not always the easiest or most popular path...but so very worth it.

French River 2010

2010-09-06T16:46:00.000-04:00

our annual (okay, second year in a row) pilgrimage to the French River -- to a little cabin by the river -- the children immersed themselves immediately in the wildness....computers, television, video-games all forgotten in an instant in favour of fishing poles and river-puddles.

and yes, Savannah is embarking on a dread-journey. after much discussion and research, we are in the process of dreading her hair. she's the coolest kid, ever.

amazing how a fishing pole in the river can ease the tensions of the busy-world. in the time it takes to bait the hook, the worries melt away.

for me, it was sunrises down by the river....pen-on-page meditations and reconnecting with dreams...

and there were walks in the woods....

and, of course....the fish...

lots of fish...

and sky....gorgeous, endless horizons...

yep.

it was good.

captive....

2010-08-26T11:01:00.000-04:00

for some reason, the sight of this poor tomato, imprisoned behind a wee plastic fence in my neighbour's front garden really tickled my funny bone.

then again, i've been accused of an odd sense of humour in the past....

retro fun

2010-08-24T20:50:00.000-04:00

cooler temperatures = way more outdoor fun....

a visit to the park with friends...friends who will soon be leaving us to return to Pakistan...each moment holds more weight now..the fun just slightly more fierce. still, how nice to be able to run and jump and climb without collapsing from heat-stroke.

it took multiple attempts and a whole lot of laughing to try and capture them all running together...alas, the delay on the camera and the difference in speediness made it quite impossible...

traditionally done on ice-skates...this grassy version of the game was just as hilarious....it's all about the 'whipping' after all...

and of course a photo session isn't complete without the goofy face poses...

and yes - i'm very much addicted to this fake polaroid business....:)

2010-08-23T14:26:00.000-04:00

the horrid humid weather is gone...replaced by rain, glorious rain...and cooling winds. there are subtle shadings of red on the outer-edges of the leaves of our maple tree....a sign of the changes to come.

a noticeable change around these parts has been increasing amounts of silence. the kind of silence that comes with being engrossed in a good book. Savannah's interest in reading took off at a gallop with the finding of an old copy of Black Beauty. none of the easy-readers we have lying around seemed to tweak her interest - even the horsey ones.but now she's barreling her way through this door-step-sized tome, quite voluntarily. and lining up her to-read pile with great enthusiasm. which got me thinking about how we assume what kids should be capable of and then force them into self-fulfilling prophecy. who says that because she's only 7 that she should only be reading books of a certain style, vocabulary and length? pfffft. here's to strewing the path!

of course the silence rarely lasts....soon there was bickering and accusations flew of someone touching someone else's K'Nex creation and so we gathered the hounds and set off for a walk in the wild, wet weather. we came home to bread pudding....(i hate throwing out the crusts of bread that no-one will eat)...so i found a recipe and gave it a go....

alas.....nobody liked it except for me. evidently it reminded Savannah too much of some kitchen experiment she'd conducted in the past. i think it was the vanilla extract that did her in. i would use less next time anyway.

so now we're settling in for an afternoon of tea, art projects and (very likely) a spot of reading. the rain is falling in a steady drizzle and we are cozy and dry.

we are blessed.

* if you're diggin' the fake polaroids.....you can make your own here - Polaroin

the summer so far...

2010-08-10T19:54:00.000-04:00

the usual state-of-being during our indoor hours -- chaos meets mayhem on the table

Savannah and Jesse....she started lessons this spring after waiting patiently all winter. her current fave pony is Java -- that's his butt on the left. she loves it. she's a natural. 'nuff said. we're in the business of dreams, you see.

where we've spent most of our time this summer. stinking bloody horrible hot weather has sucked the joy out of most outdoor activities. except for this one.

during a humidity-break....backyard science.

sunflower marvelousness in auntie's garden

~*~

such busy days we've led. it's been horribly hot all summer -- the sweat is trickling down my face as i type this (i have this high-minded eco-aversion to air-conditioning -- i may be reconsidering after the summer we've had) so we've been mostly at the pool and at the pool.

we've found some fun new games to play online and Savannah's reading skills have sky-rocketed to the point where she's fairly self-sufficient with instructions and clues. Sebastian continues his pursuit of all things dramatic and has expanded his dialogue repertoire to include entire scenes (with multiple parts) from his favourite movies.

i've found my way back to writing -- pen moving across the page for now -- and B is finally pursuing his dream of being his own boss. losing his job mid-summer prodded him firmly in that direction. so we're riding the wave of financial uncertainty but have faith that it'll all turn out in the end. the money trickles in just as we need it and we're rediscovering the things that truly hold value.

life, as they say, is good.

but bring on autumn. i'm DONE with this heat.

through the key-hole #2 ~ corner bookshelf view ~

2010-05-22T17:48:00.002-04:00

Once again, inspired by the lovely Mon over at Holistic Mama...the second in a series of glimpses into *real* houses...*real* people....what I love very much about this little meme, is that the aim is authenticity and not something posed or contrived. Which goes a long way in this den of chronic catastrophe....

It wasn't easy choosing which corner to photograph. We have numerous bookshelves scattered around the house, and more than a few baskets stuffed full in impromptu reading areas. I chose this one simply because it was closest to where I keep the camera. :)

Our shelves hold more than books...in this case, a candle, a pen/pencil holder, a bag of postcards and the aftercare instructions from True Grit Tattoos and Piercing. Underneath that, I think are some notecards that Ducks Unlimited sent me in the ill-advised attempt to gain my financial support.

Once upon a time I had my books organized in a vague system of authors and genres. That was two shelf-movings ago and before Sebastian became fond of taking them all off and putting them back on again.

old stuff and new projects

2010-05-18T19:07:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was all about some retro tinkering....who doesn't just fall in love with this guy over and over?

a session on Club Penguin and then getting signed up for a new project.

Savannah saw an ad for this on Animal Planet (?) and wanted to get involved. She's working toward a $100 fundraising goal to preserve habitat for Grizzly bears in B.C. This is her donation page --

Earth Rangers

she goes by the name - Ranger5633521 -- lots of fun conservation/enviromentally conscious games etc. to play and ways to get involved.

dirty hippie feet at the park

2010-05-18T07:20:00.005-04:00

bare feet in lush, green grass...and sand...you have to expect a bit of dirt.

another impromptu detour to the park -- after picking up a package at the Post Office and the purchase of snacky goodness at the drug store -- SmartFood for Sebastian and Doritos for Savannah -- which naturally taste so much better on an orange blanket under a tree.

Savannah grows weary of the paparazzi...I think she liked it better when the camera wasn't working

and the package? The fruits of our Amazon budget for the month....the audiobook version of the first Harry Potter book and a long-time wishlist resident for me by one of my fave writing gurus, Julia Cameron.

And so I ask myself for the umpteenth time, who wouldn't want to live like this?

today....

2010-05-17T21:08:00.000-04:00

...there was planting

garden views...

2010-05-17T07:08:00.001-04:00

there has been much activity in our little patch -- salvage efforts from the combined pillage of squirrels and Emma-dog....I think I've got it sorted.

the plants that survived the winter (and Emma-dog) were placed in pots and then the soil covered with river rocks...sort of Zen garden meets dog-proofing....

our little evergreen seedling now has it's own pot...and was promptly dug up by a squirrel...*sigh*...but I put it back in and it seems to be none the worse for wear.

there's something about the time spent in hard labour of a garden that brings a measure of peace to everything else...

gifts in the garden

2010-05-16T20:54:00.002-04:00

a gift of garden knick-knacketry from Grandma....

a gift of colour from M....

...and a gift of the wind from Mother Nature...a wee evergreen that sprouted on the edge of a not-doing-anything-else pot.

through the key-hole #1 ~ sink view ~

2010-05-15T18:57:00.000-04:00

Inspired by the lovely Mon over at Holistic Mama....this is the first in the 'through the key-hole' series.

Not a terribly inspiring view in and of itself...my fave sink-view was my old house in Guelph where I could wash dishes and look out into the garden. Any future, permanent-type homestead will be judged very seriously on it's sink view, I can assure you. Nonetheless, this one is made interesting by how it represents *us*....drying paintbrushes, a plastic scorpion, tea-balls and reusable bags; and, taking the hideous off the speckled backsplash, on the wall to meditate upon is a verse, a mantra for life and a beloved picture taken from my Nanna's house in England after she passed.

Memories, philosophies for life and a love of art woven into the fabric of daily life.....magic in the mundane. Kind of inspiring after all.

in which there is paint

2010-05-14T20:52:00.001-04:00

Sometimes we have attacks of spontaneous painting......

Like sometimes I'm in the middle of something else and then the urge overtakes someone and then we simply must paint....

It isn't usually Sebastian with this compulsion...he hasn't shown a whole lot of interest in painting and drawing in the past...so it's always interesting when the mood takes him.

He worked on a canvas, I messed around making backgrounds for my visual journal.

There was much applause and mutual admiration of our efforts.

bereft of photos

2010-05-13T09:15:00.000-04:00

Because Sebastian is hogging the laptop where all my photos are waiting....a few random things about the last few days...

~ Our (meaning Savannah and I) official new favourite cartoon -- The Angry Beavers -- irreverent, goofy humour, most of which I'm sure goes over Savannah's head...but the deep, belly-laughs are genuine so who cares? She has evidently inherited my warped sense of humour. Add to it the fact it was initially canceled 'amidst controversy' makes it even more appealing.

~ Emma-dog got trapped in her blanket some time during the night. It's the blanket she cocoons herself up in in her crate and I have no idea how long she was stuck. I had to cut her out of it this morning. I'm torn between hilarity and terror - theoretically she could have strangled herself. Then again, maybe she shouldn't have nibbled holes in it.

~ I awoke yesterday to the gift of a dead mouse in the hallway. I had no idea we even had mice, although B had pointed out that Snowbell has been adopting a Mighty-Stealth-Killer pose every time she comes in the laundry room. Nevertheless, I prefer mice in context, ie. in barns and fields, and am none too happy with the idea of one in the house. I resisted the urge to photograph the rodent crime-scene...complete with the other two cats gathered around like innocent by-standers. Methinks it's time to re-anoint my peppermint sachets.

And that is how it went....

following our feet..

2010-05-11T07:47:00.000-04:00

It started off as a trip to the bulk food store -- heavens-to-mergatroid the squirrels are out of peanuts -- plus I needed flour and cinnamon.

We battled through the casualties of the weekend storms....it's more fun to clamber OVER these things, than to walk around them....

Where once a tatty old used car dealership stood, is now this scar on the landscape. Future site of a pain management clinic [prompting the unenlightened to fly into fits over all the crackheads and heroin junkies that would surely be cluttering up the place -- someone may have inadvertently mentioned methadone] Even though the car dealership was grotty and abandoned, there were some lovely old trees to brighten it up . They're not there now. We are not amused. Savannah has issued an ultimatum which involves speedy construction and the planting of many trees and shrubs to replace those torn down.

Halfway to the bulk food store, Savannah decided she was thirsty. Thusly, we carried on to the coffee shop for refreshments and people-watching.

We eventually wandered back to the bulk food store and got in our supplies -- with a few extras, of course. It was decided after we did our shopping that we would walk past the 'haunted house' on our way home...

Sometimes we're up for the terror, sometimes not. Debate rages over 'haunted vs. not-haunted', 'abandoned vs. occupied'. Hard to tell. Although the tree in the front yard is gorgeous. On this, we at least agree.

Musings over a large lollipop -- which, by Savannah's estimation will take approximately one year to finish -- brought us to the conclusion that a side-trip to the park was in order...after all, it's going to rain the rest of the week...

And so we swung and dug in the sand and watched the painting people learn how to use their ladders and made silly faces into the camera...

Such freedom this, in following our feet....

long absences...

2010-05-10T09:12:00.000-04:00

A camera-on-strike and a not-very-exciting-winter are to blame....spring has sprung, the camera has decided to work again but beyond that, no promises. Pure randomness is our new theme.

We've played a vast amount of computer games but been a bit light on the crafting...

Five people competing for the use of two computers has presented something of a challenge...we're working on it.

We're proud members of the Pro-Dandelion Movement (pure fiction, as far as I can tell, but one never knows these days) -- enjoying the brilliant yellow-against-green of the early bloomers and the great fun to be had in the blowing about of wishes...

These were all taken on our latest trip to the park on Picnic Tuesday...as we lay on our blanket, feasting on jam sandwiches and blackberries, we felt genuinely sad for all the kids stuck in a classroom on such a gorgeous day. After a moments' reflection, we went back to our cloud-spotting and burying of bare toes in warm sand.

Life, as they say, is good.

A cast of thousands....

2009-12-27T08:20:00.001-05:00

Knowing her love of this particular art form, Savannah's bff, M, gifted her with a sock-puppet making kit.....a much fancier one than her other one....complete with pre-cut embellishments and super-fuzzy socks.

I've forgotten the names of these two.....I shall have to consult the latest playbill.....

Winter Solstice, Charlie Brown's tree and magnetic poetry...*

2009-12-22T08:20:00.000-05:00

*note: attempting to document our Countdown has been entirely abandoned. Suffice it to say, we only missed a few things.....I'm voting for the shitey chocolate calendar next year.

The above picture is the peanut butter and birdseed English muffins that we made for our fur and feathered friends....placed reverently out at the base of the maple tree and around the yard. I won't mention what became of our Solstice lanterns although there are two soup tins full of ice languishing in our freezer....

Anyway...'twas a lovely observance....gifts by candlelight and a lovely roast chicken feast....prezzies unwrapped beneath our fabulous tree...

As a matter of perspective....B is a former jockey (read: short man)...and those are cardboard spacers I improvised to hold the slender trunk in place as the screw thingies were at their maximum. It may not have been a tall tree, but, as was repeatedly commented, it was a very full tree.

Savannah once again took charge of decorating it.....due to the elfin nature of the tree, there were lots of decorations left in their boxes this year.

One of the coolest gifts ever (if I do say so myself) was the box of Magnetic Poetry for Kids....we are having a grand old time spontaneously composing verse every time we walk through the kitchen. I'm pretty sure this is how Shel Silverstein got famous. Keep your eye out for the Kitchen Whiteboard Collection....coming soon to a fine bookseller near you......;)

Holiday Countdown....Reader's Digest version

2009-12-18T09:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been utterly lax with the documentation of our countdown. I've given up apologizing for my lack of commitment here, suffice it to say, some days, amidst the sheer randomness of life-as-we-know-it around these parts, the prospect of uploading and posting photos is more than I can bear.....:) And I'm continually wrestling with the thought that really, who gives a rat's ass what we're up to and why am I doing this again? Excuse the existentialist sidetracking, such is my head-space amongst the holiday frenzy. Plus we're thoroughly embroiled in the new Mystery Case Files game - Dire Grove.

That said....here's a smattering of what we've been up to. We're a tad behind but finding it all quite scintillating and there are only a couple of things I might change up for next year...

Much baking of cookies has occurred...

Savannah has produced a startling amount of holiday craftiness...she's been like a little elf in the Art Cave/Santa's Workshop...and our invisible tree (invisible because we haven't got one yet) already has a pile of handmade goodness underneath for both two and four-legged family members alike. I am shamelessly proud of her un-prompted generosity and thoughtfulness. She's powering through scads of paper and glue and paint so I only hope that The Elves got my message and are planning to replenish her stock...;)

Of course, there has been a lot of outdoorsy-ness as well....and sometimes, when the mood strikes, we simply put our snowsuits on over our pajamas*.

*NB. Once it darkness falls, no matter what the time (which is around 5:30pm-ish these days), Sebastian likes to don his nightwear...and so our various forays into the night to witness the twinkly, sparkly light displays mean he's most often in his jammies...

One of our annual treks to the Festival of Lights....thankfully they've got some new displays as it was starting to get a bit old.....this one is one of the originals and second only to the train as Sebastian's favourite.

Other highlights so far have included an attempt at Solstice lanterns, making edible gifts for the wildlife around our 'hood, putting together a big bag of food for the Food Bank, choosing gifts from Plan Canada (we went with mango trees and bee-keeping kits, I bought a home-birthing kit on behalf of my work-chums)....

Today we're off to get our tree to complete the greenery within.....

Holiday Countdown - Days Two and Three - December 2, 3

2009-12-04T08:27:00.000-05:00

Wednesdays and Thursdays are tricky days as they're my work days so we are limited to what we can accomplish......Wednesday's task was to dig out our holiday/winter book collection and start reading one each night at bedtime. We also have a copy of Do You See What I See? Christmas so we're working our way through that one. The seek-and-find books are big favourite of Sebastian's but these ones are a bit more challenging so we do a few pages at at time. Thursday was 'decorate windows with paper snowflakes' -- which we sort of did. Savannah wanted to save the actual crafting of the snowflakes until her bff M. came over in the afternoon {she and her mom look after the kids when I go to work on Thursday afternoons} so I missed out on any pics.....this is one she'd made earlier....

Holiday Countdown - Day One - December 1

2009-12-01T08:04:00.002-05:00

Because you can never have enough pictures of your kids sleeping...

...especially when they're up way early and can't help but tip over on the sofa and immediately be fallen upon by heat-seeking snuggle-hounds {Oscar is curled up in the crook of her knees}

Today marked our first holiday countdown day....not a very original or new one, but we're starting off slowly so as not to ramp up into a frenzy too soon before the Big Days ahead....

So off we went to the library and indeed maxed out our cards....we actually had to put two things back because for some Grinchy reason, adult cards are only allowed to take out two things as opposed to the five allowed for kid cards. {insert raspberry here}. Alas, Sebastian was coughing and hacking and snortling all over the library computer - upon which we were getting some rather nervous glances from the other patrons - so we didn't stay long. I'm quite certain someone immediately swooped in and disinfected everything we'd touched......

We meandered to our usual apres-library coffee shop destination, drank hot chocolate and ate cookies to fortify ourselves {okay, fortify ME, who had to carry five tons of library books and movies in the backpack} for the walk home...

....upon which, after much deliberation, we reactivated Savannah's Club Penguin account. Being a bit older and having basic reading skills now makes all the difference and she's quite charmed with the whole thing. If anyone else out there plays, her penguin's name is Wagonberry....

Hot chocolate and a jam doughnut wears off fast when you're working your way up the belts in Card Ju-jitsu, so milk and an Oreo was in order by mid-afternoon.

Peace & legos, jam sandwiches & cups of tea...

2009-11-30T07:49:00.001-05:00

I'm the first to admit that life around our little patch is not all sunshine and roses...theres' that whole misconception that just because two siblings are close in age that they'll automatically be best chums {which, in a fit of starry-eyed foolishness I bought into}. So yeah, our two Shinies fight a lot....less than they used to...but they do fight. I've come to the conclusion that it's a grand karmic punishment for my own wretched big sisterness...but that's a whole other navel-gazing session.

SO...when peace does reign in our house, 'tis a lovely thing.....

Peace comes in the form of legos and pattern blocks and Candyland strewn around the floor of the Bat Cave....with Snowbell in the thick of things...naturally.

Of course, there's the ceremonial breaking of bread...which in this case are jam sandwiches -- all the rage around here of late, they just can't get enough of 'em....

Behold...the fruits of their labours.....{it's two horses attached to a cart, in case you couldn't tell}. Okay, so that was Savannah's contribution, Sebastian is all about building high towers. There were other constructions but they fell to ruin as part of some complex scenario involving dinosaurs and a remote-controlled tarantula taking over the world....

And what does the mama do when all is quiet and Zen? Why this....

Ah....sweet serenity....

Retro viewing....

2009-11-23T17:43:00.000-05:00

Sebastian is currently on a VHS bender. Yes, they do still exist.

Sadly, the Henry's Amazing Animals videos he dearly loves are ONLY available in VHS...yeah, so what's THAT all about?!?! But he's also excavated some ancient Blue's Clues tapes (from the Steve era!!), which I believe were around when my soon-to-be 14 year old niece was a tot.

And whoever said children's television isn't educational has evidently not seen the Blue's Clues episode where they learn the planets...I can now recite (actually sing in a jaunty little tune) the planets in order from closest to the sun...which, I might add, I couldn't do before watching this program. And so can the kids. So there.

So YAY for retro video tapes....but not so YAY for all that rewinding....

Holiday Countdown 2009

2009-11-20T16:52:00.005-05:00

In a shameless pilfering of Other People's Ideas, we've decided to do a holiday countdown...sort of an advent calendar-esque type thing. It took some convincing as Savannah is rather fond of the shitey chocolates that come in the shitey-yet-ever-so-fabulous cardboard calendars that we've added to our repertoire in the past, so we negotiated the additional creation of a Countdown Jar of Chocolate which we will fill with some yummy niblets and sample each day as we ponder our assignments.

Absolutely determined not to make a Huge Production out of the thing, we just made-do with what we had around the house (as my mind soared off in all sorts of grand and crafty directions of how we could make each envelope a fragment of Divinity itself)....thusly we used construction paper scavenged from the Art Cave and glossy flyers of a Christmassy theme we found by rummaging through the recycling bin.

'Twas also a shameless opportunity for Savannah to practice scribing her numbers...particularly those which she has trouble with....2, 3 and 5. We made up some silly rhymes to remember how to draw them and by the end, after each one was the proclamation... "Look!!! It's the perfect..{insert number here}!!!!"

Our little pile of lopsided envelopes grew over the course of the afternoon....my template was a bit off, trying to be as frugal as possible with our paper usage....plus, I'm wonky on a good day.

Then, Savannah stuck the numbers onto each envelope....we went from 1-25, deciding not to go past into the days past Christmas. It was harder than I thought, when factoring in work-days and times when we would want B to be around etc, but in the end I was quite happy with The List.

And here's our list:

1.Max-out our library cards on holiday books and movies (you're allowed 5 items per card)
2. Get out our own collection of holiday books and read one each night. See how much of the Do You See What I See? Christmas book we can finish this year.
3. Decorate the windows with paper snowflakes.
4. Go to see the Festival of Lights at Spencer Smith Park.
5. Family dinner tonight at Auntie B's! Bake something to take for dessert.
6. Use up last year's Blockbuster gift cards on a previously-viewed movie.
7. Go to the mall with Nanna to see the decorations. Put our gift(s) in the Toy Drive Bin. Eat lunch in the Food Court.
8. Make a holiday parcel for the Food Bank.
9. Choose a gift from Heifer Int'l or Plan Canada.
10. Change over our nature table. Listen to some holiday music while we do it.
11. Drive along Lakeshore to see all the lights on the fancy rich people's houses.
12. Happy Hanukkah! Shop for some yummy snacks for our........family movie night!!! Go ahead...open up the surprise. {a copy of the new 'Buddies' movie}
13. Go to Kerncliff for a winter hike. Gather evergreens for our decorations.
14. Decorate the house.
15. Make Solstice lanterns.
16. String popcorn for the tree.
17. Make edible gifts for Bushy and her friends and the birds.
18. Choose the Best Tree Ever.
19. Decorate the tree; dinner at Nanna and Granda's house! Don't forget to take your homemade gifts for the kid's exchange.
20. Christmas party at the Navy Club! Light our Solstice lanterns and leave our edible gifts out for our animal friends.
21. Happy Winter Solstice!! Welcome back the Sun and be thankful for our warm, cozy house and our cupboards full of food. Prepare a festive dinner and open our Solstice gifts when Daddy gets home from work.
22.Make a batch of cookies for all the family dogs.
23. Watch holiday specials/movies. (Mommy votes for It's a Wonderful Life...please?)
24. It's Christmas Eve!! Bake cookies to eat while we read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Don't forget to leave the magick key out for Santa.
25. Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful day filled with laughter and joy and the love of family and friends.

I shall perhaps unleash my creative urges on the Chocolate Jar.....currently masquerading as an empty Mason jar smelling slightly of the pasta sauce that used to occupy it....it's sitting in the middle of the table, just waiting for inspiration....

Puddles, puppets and hot cups of tea

2009-11-20T07:29:00.000-05:00

November has been a very kind month so far....above-normal to downright balmy temperatures and noticeable lack of rain...or as the case sometimes is...The Other (aka, the S-word - just can't bring myself to say it).

But, into every life, a little rain must fall...and so it did...making for a damp and dreary sort of day. So I wandered out into our little garden patch to take some pictures of the greenery which has finally decided to give up it's green in favour of something a little more red...

Our outdoor *offering* basket....we decorated it with our painted pumpkins left from Thanksgiving...sadly, it seems that our visitors are not overly fond of the grapes, but *someone* ate the apple...

One of our Gargoyles....cozying up with some leaves...perhaps I should knit them scarves for the winter...

I did manage to convince my fairweather friends that we should get out for a walk with the dogs between rainshowers and we managed to do just that, getting home just in time for another downpour. At which point it was decided that it was a good day to stay inside and make sock puppets....as one does when it's raining and cold outside.

Savannah has an aversion to wearing any brand of socks other than Happy Feet socks -- being the sensitive soul she is -- thusly, she has a drawer full of failed experiments in acceptable foot coverings..which lend themselves nicely to becoming an entire theatre troupe of sock puppets.

We're working on some Glamour Shots....because every budding thespian needs a Glamour Shot, right? There are murmurings of a holiday puppet theatre performance of Rapunzel...which apparently will require elaborate set decorations and the sub-contracting out of the *extras*.....

In the midst of this creative frenzy, I managed to do a *final* edit on my manuscript, only to discover it is about thirty pages over the maximum to be entered in the contest I had my eye on...*sigh*...so instead of weeping with frustration, I made tea. Lots of it. Maple tea, to be exact...yes..you're thinking "Eww",which is what I thought until I tried it...it's quite delicious....and suitable for wallowing in creative self-pity.

Of mice and math

2009-11-18T07:26:00.038-05:00

Math is not my friend.

I have a deep psychological scar about math that I've traced back to an incident in my early school years involving a recitation of my times tables. *shudder*. Oh, I get by...I even did reasonably well in university-level calculus (thanks to a great professor), but in general, math makes me queasy.

Sadly, however, it's one of those necessary skills....

Early last week Savannah expressed an interest in earning some extra coin (she's saving up to buy a horse, btw) so an opportunity to start doing some basic math arose. So what's a math-o-phobe to do? Why, find some computer software, of course! {in my defense, it is her preferred method for doing new things -- it's all about being able to puzzle it out on her own} And from her experience playing Fairy-o-poly, I figured she'd grasp it quite easily when put into a *real* context, rather than faffing about with abstracts.

So now she's buying scooter accessories and making change in a virtual store where the shopkeeper is a rather obnoxious little mouse with a nerve-jarring Frosted-Lucky-Charms Irish brogue. And when she got frustrated with the horrible rodent, she went off to make pizzas and has grasped fractions with amazing alacrity...amazing only because it took me until adulthood and I was riding fast horses in a circle to truly grasp fractions...

Malcolm...

And one of the best parts about this kind of learning, is that you get much cuddlier seat-mates than you'd find at conventional school...

Stack-Rat Tuesday...

2009-11-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

The main road we walk along to get to the library is....well....fairly hideous. Nothing really that you could put your finger on...it's just old and ugly and completely lacks character. Thusly, the stark and dismal sight of these huddling pigeons completely captures the feel of it...especially since a rather biting wind was tunnelling through...

We rather enjoy our little neighbourhood branch. Sure it's not as fancy as some of the larger branches and sure, you pretty much have to put holds on most of the books you might want...but it's small and rarely busy and the librarians are very sweet and helpful.

So we prowled for 'next-ones' of some of the series books we're reading (getting all giddy when we discovered they were actually On The Shelf as opposed to at the branch across town), Sebastian played on the computer, amusing us greatly with his earphones-on Loud Talking and Savannah did the provided craft.

As per usual, after we pillage the stacks for our reading material for the week...it's a short (and chilly) walk to the coffee shop for our traditional apres library snack. Today was cold enough to merit a hot chocolate in lieu of coffee...and...of course....

Ye Olde Gingerbread cookie..all dressed for the season

Sebastian enjoyed the polar bear version....

The remains of a nest that we spotted on the walk home...we went a more scenic way for the trip back.

Finally, windswept and runny-nosed, we retired to the warmth for an afternoon with our stash......

In which we paint in our pajamas...

2009-11-16T08:08:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you just have to listen when the Muse calls you.....even if you haven't had breakfast yet.

from the Smiley-Face collection

Weiner love....

2009-11-15T16:52:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, a little sausage-dog love, is all a girl needs when she's feelin' blue....

Autumn...views from the bus-stop

2009-11-14T17:22:00.001-05:00

Stream of Dreams...

2009-11-13T17:15:00.002-05:00

Whereupon a group assembles to learn of the perils of putting crap down the storm drains and how washing their cars with vile soapy concoctions do unfathomable things to the Earth and the Water and our friends, the fishes....

...and when they have completed the aforementioned learnings, great fun is had painting wooden fishes and attaching them to otherwise ugly fences...

my favourite

Catching up,....November 9

2009-11-12T09:08:00.000-05:00

Introducing... Sir Oscar....our latest foster-dog. (we added the title to distinguish him from our own Oscar...plus he's a rather refined gentleman, worthy of a peerage). He's a gem, a love-bug, but a sad and broken-hearted little soul. He's been let down a lot in the past but has finally reached safe-haven.

the healing power of love

I'm happy to report that, as of today (November 12) it seems that Sir Oscar has found his forever home.....and as sad as we will be to see him go, we know that he will be loved and cared for and need never worry about being left behind again....

An even happier bonus...is that we'll still get to see him because we happen to be tight with his new family...:)

Catching up - October 31

2009-11-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

Savannah sporting her Halloween costume....she added the ghost to her hat herself. The Trick or Treat haul was unbelievable....I've personally never seen so much candy in one place before. As per usual, Sebastian tagged along, uncostumed, for a short spell before retiring back to his lair.

Earlier in the day....we took our Samhain stroll in a local cemetery, leaving an apple behind as an offering for any spirits that were wandering through.

Catching up - October 19

2009-11-12T08:52:00.000-05:00

Happy 80th Birthday Grampsie!!!

And this is one of the 'evil ladybugs' that have taken over the world....

Catching up - October 18

2009-11-12T08:51:00.000-05:00

So I decided I wanted to take up knitting....long story involving my left-handed handicap, various frustrating attempts to teach me and my own bloody-mindedness....suffice it to say,at the ripe old age of 38 I finally 'got it'.

Behold my practice swatch....stunning, isn't it?

Which does quite well as a warm, woolly blanket for a toy horse.....

Thank you Savannah, your support and generosity made it possible for this inaugural piece to find a useful purpose....

Catching up - October 15

2009-11-12T08:47:00.000-05:00

Long absence...yes.....moving on. Lots of catching up photos - still way behind on our holiday pics which, sadly, seems like a lifetime ago. Perhaps I'll just throw one in from time to time to jazz up the everyday stuff. Now that I've got our internet thingy sorted out - a dire case of the router being too close to the cordless phone...hence the sluggish uploads and my subsequent lack of patience...hopefully I shall be more diligent. No promises though.

Pumpkin tarts....one of my few forays into the kitchen arts these days always seems to involve pumpkin. Not sure why, but there you have it. I had a spare shell so I tried to relive my own childhood and toss in a jam tart. It bubbled a lot, overflowed, gummed up my cookie sheet but the kitchen smelled lovely. Sadly, the taste was nothing like I remembered.

Not sadly, no-one else in the family likes pumpkin-anything (with the exception of my pumpkin soup - B, and my pumpkin pancakes - Sebastian) so I got to eat them all myself.

The Great Purge...

2009-09-21T07:44:00.004-04:00

A massive decluttering process underway in Savannah's room. This child's space was pretty much a Storehouse of Crap.....well, some of it was crap...most of it was toys-not-played-with or boxes and bags of bits-and-pieces. After much discussion and pondering, a collaborative effort ensued whereby we made three piles -- garbage (thankfully, not much of that), free-cycling (a veritable mountain of Joy to be passed on) and Precious Memories (Savannah's term) -- which were packed in that green tote you can see in the photo. A Divine decluttering indeed.

Our neighbour-friends getting first dibs on the freecycle stuff - -they're all dressed in their finery for Eid ul-Fitr celebrations....how apropos that we are also celebrating the spirit of sharing and Abundance.

And what it looks like now....a clear space..uncluttered and ready to play in. *sigh* Bliss.

Science-y things, Wild Places and Playing with Art

2009-09-14T19:06:00.010-04:00

A jaunt out to the Royal Botanical Gardens...for a wee hike (by our recent standards), the Earth Art exhibition and a picnic.

First stop was the Discovery Garden for a spot of science -- cork *boats* floating down the little waterfall thingy...experiments with dams and other interesting alterations of the current.

The current Grand Poobah of our Fungus Collection....a GIANT orange bloom on a tree stump. We were mesmerized.
The ducks graced us with a viewing.....
From the "Make your own Desktop Wallpaper" collection...

Sitting a spell....
One of the Earth Art installations. Something to do with paranoia....I fiddled with this one to make it extra sinister....

Savannah walks the paranoia spiral. Auntie Sarah 'got it' but it eludes me still...

My 'bee shot'. Auntie Sarah had a few that 'got away'. I got this one. You just have to find the right blooms.

Riding on the art. Transformed tricycles and wagons....yours for the low, low price of $4500...

One of my favourite scenes..Sebastian 'dialogues' with the giant chess piece.

Must have been a Tragedy.

Wednesday September 2 - Grundy Lake Provincial Park & Sebastian's Birthday!!

2009-09-13T09:06:00.009-04:00